“But Daniel, is that what it really is?” wondered the lovely Millie Drake. “Is that what was stolen?”
“Indeed so, my dear Mills,” I assured her. “The purloined relic is indeed -- The Shroud of Turin!”
We were in the computer room of our headquarters, located as it is in the golden trapezoidal rooftop of a great metropolitan skyscraper. I was clad in my usual finery; including a frilled poet shirt, purple velvet suit, and jungle boots. My panama hat and opera cape hung from a near by hallstand.
My companion Millie is an exceedingly beautiful young lady; petite and perfect with luxurious chestnut hair, enchanting violet eyes, and sun-kissed skin. The royal blue dress she wore only served to highlight her slender teenage figure.
Also with us was Kit-10, our mobile personal computer that resembles nothing more or less than a small mechanical cat.
“But wasn’t the Shroud incredibly well-guarded?” asked Millie. “I mean, I know it is kept in a church, but still they must have security cameras and all, right?”
“Indeed they do,” I affirmed, “but two nights ago when the Shroud was stolen, there was a power outage that took out both the cameras and burglar alarms there in the Cathedral of Turin, Italy.”
“So this is the relic that some believe to be the actual burial cloth of Jesus?”
“That is the belief, though carbon dating and other research have shown that it is, in actuality, a cleverly-wrought medieval icon.”
“So, why would someone steal it? Surely, anyone smart enough to pull off that robbery would know it isn’t real. They couldn‘t sell it without being detected.”
“Millie, realise that whether the Shroud is ‘real’ or not makes little difference at this point, hmmm? The collected devotion of so many of the faithful who have venerated it over the centuries will have filled it with an incredible storage of psyche-mentalist power -- a power that could be tapped and utilised by someone with experience in such things.
“Daniel, do you mean someone like…?”
“Now now, Mills. Let us not suppose anything until we have more facts.”
“So the Catholic Church has kept the robbery quiet?” Millie Drake enquired.
“Quite so,” I confirmed. “Its absence has been kept from the news media. We only know about it from our secret contacts at the Vatican.”
“S--,” suddenly interrupted Kit-10 in her simulated yet pleasantly-feminine voice, “am receiving information through the computer network systems concerning a surge of energy that may be of the type associated with the so-called Shroud of Turin.”
(It should be noted here that Kit-10, in addition to her other catlike characteristics, is completely unable to openly show respect to anyone. In sooth, the closest she ever comes to it is by addressing me by a slight “s--” sound -- for “sir” -- and Millie by “m--” -- for “ma’am”.)
“Good work, Kit-10!” I approved. “From whence is the energy burst emanating?”
“It appears to be from the location of the former Saint Clare’s Roman Catholic Church on Fifth Avenue,” replied the robotic feline.
“Hmmm,” I pondered. “That was one of the church locations closed down recently when the archdiocese downsized.”
“We need to get over there right away!” announced Millie.
“Quite so,” I agreed, retrieving my hat and cloak from the stand. “Nevertheless, be warned. The powers of the relic known as the Holy Shroud of Turin are immense and little understood. This is likely to be one of the most dangerous missions we have ever embarked upon!” …
My name is Doctor Daniel Rumanos. I carry within my blood the heritage of the mysterious Watchers of Algol, the most intellectually advanced race in all of the known galaxies, whose technology is so sophisticated it appears as magic to lesser beings.
Whilst most Algolites live in elitist seclusion from the rest of the Universe, I am an operative for an organisation known as the KOSMIKOS. Assisted by the wonderful Miss Millie Drake, I protect Earth from all manner of menace. I am -- The Daemon-Star!!! …
It was at that exact same time that a grotesquely strange scene was taking place at the location of the aforesaid Saint Clare’s Roman Catholic Church; for inside that supposedly shuttered building an event was being acted out that resembled a religious ceremony -- though not one of the type proper to that place!
Around the remains of the sanctuary had been placed several large candlesticks containing lit candles of ebony black, and on the altar was an object resembling a cloth on which was a figure bearing the apparent marks of crucifixion. It was indeed the stolen Shroud of Turin.
Behind the altar were two individuals, forsooth individuals also quite inappropriate to that place. The first of them was a man seemingly of middle years, his face still showing signs of handsome distinction despite being marked with the results of lifetimes of extreme wickedness. His hair was long and dark, and his face decorated with a thin moustache and goatee. Most of all, his eyes shone with an intense hypnotic glare. He was clad in a long black vestment robe.
The other was an insanely-voluptuous teenage girl with raven hair, luminous blue-green eyes, and her mouth painted like an inviting scarlet gash. She was wearing only a purple string bikini and spike heels that made her appear several inches taller than her actual height.
“It is time, Anastasia,” said the man, his voice tinged with utter madness. “It is time that I shall begin to take my rightful place as ruler over this world.”
“Oh yes, Father,” answered the girl, absently curling her hair with one finger. “This is all so hot! So this thing we got from Italy is going to help you do that?”
“‘This thing’, as you call it, is none other than the Shroud of Turin, and it shall indeed aid me -- with its legendary powers -- to become supreme dictator of Earth.”
“That’s so hot! I like the naked man on it, too. But aren’t you afraid Doctor Rumanos might try to stop you?”
“Stacy, I shall not tolerate any of your ridiculous obsessions with Rumanos! He shall do nothing! The power of the Shroud is mine!”
With this, a burst of multi-hued energy suddenly came forth from the Holy Shroud, soon rotating around the room, its point centralised on the villain.
“Do you see?” he said amidst a peal of his own insane laughter. “The power of the Shroud is mine, and I -- Magister Don Wingus -- shall utilise it to conquer all!” …
Darkness had just fallen over the city, and I was driving my specially-modified canary-yellow Edwardian roadster -- affectionately known as “Lizzie” -- with Millie Drake and Kit-10 by my side.
“So we are almost at the location of the old church?” enquired Millie.
“Quite so,” I affirmed, “and we should soon find out if…”
“Detecting danger, s--,” suddenly interrupted Kit-10.
“Oh my goodness, Daniel!” added Millie. “Look!”
I turned to behold what my companion was indicating and beheld a terror indeed. For at that very moment, approaching our car from behind was an huge mass of occult energy, sparkling with a multi-hued effulgence.
Kit-10 fired several shots of her nose laser at the energy, and I attempted to speed the vehicle away from it, but it was all to no avail. I heard Millie Drake scream as the bizarre force of seemingly-supernatural menace began to descend directly upon us!
Then, as quickly as it had appeared, the occult apparition vanished.
“What happened, Daniel?” queried Millie Drake. “It just disappeared!”
“Quite so,” I replied. “It was only a small warning. The full force of the energy from the Shroud will be much more devastating. Ah, here we are.”
We had now arrived at the location of the shuttered church. Millie, Kit-10, and I left Lizzie parked at the kerbside and cautiously approached the premises of the former holy place. Entry was easy, as the doors had long before been forced open by various vandals and burglars. As we made it to the darkened sanctuary, lit as it was only by streetlights shining through the old stained-glass windows -- augmented by several horridly black candles, we beheld them; standing behind the altar on which was the Shroud of Turin were the two villains.
“Don Wingus!” I said his name, the name of the Algolite arch-criminal who has become my greatest foe. “I should have known. So you did escape from the Map of Blackbeard the Pirate. It was you and your daughter Anastasia here who stole the Shroud of Turin, hmmm?"
“Oh, bravo on your powers of deduction, Rumanos,” mocked the villain. “Yes, I have acquired the Shroud, and will use its powers to take my place as ruler of Earth!”
“Wingus, you fiend!” I countered. “You ungodly fiend! You would use this relic that so many people venerate as a thing of holiness in order to further your schemes of world domination?!”
“Oh, of course,” chuckled the evil Wingus. “It is poetic justice, after all. I shall utilise the very forces latent in this ‘holy relic’ to take my rightful place as supreme ruler of the human race. I -- Magister Don Wingus -- shall become dictator of all! But first, I shall use the powers of the Shroud to rid myself of your troublesome meddling!”
With this, a sudden burst of extreme multicoloured energy came forth from the Shroud of Turin and flew directly at my companions and me -- hitting us with a force that began to bring us to-wards unconsciousness.
“Now, Daniel Rumanos,” uttered Don Wingus, “you will die.”
Do you recognise the horror, forsooth the extreme supernatural terror of this situation, my dear friends and most appreciated readers? There we were, the wonderful Millie Drake, the robotic Kit-10, and me, Doctor Daniel Rumanos. There we were, in the former location of Saint Clare’s Roman Catholic Church. There we were, facing the intergalactic villain known to eternal condemnation as Magister Don Wingus and his dangerously-seductive daughter Anastasia. There we were -- as that same villain wielded against us the power of the Holy Shroud, forsooth the same power he intended to utilise to make himself fascist dictator of the entire planet!
“You will now die, Rumanos!” repeated Wingus as the powers hit us. “You will now die, and I shall be triumphant over all!”
“Oh please don’t do this, Father!” suddenly pleaded Anastasia. “Please don’t hurt Doctor Rumanos! You know how much I like him. Won’t you let me have him to play with when you become ruler of the world? Please, Father? Please!”
“Stacy, you stupid strumpet!” bellowed Don Wingus in anger whilst slapping his daughter hard across the face. “I told you I would not tolerate your sexual obsession with that silly old Daniel Rumanos!”
It was then that I noticed something. The force of power from the shroud that had been hitting us had now lessened.
“Kit-10!” I called. “Blast him now!”
At this, the little robot shot a burst of her nose laser directly at Don Wingus, hitting him in his midsection. It succeeded in causing him to fall back several paces.
“Daniel,” said Millie. “The power; it seems to be… reversing!”
Indeed, the strange multihued energies that had been called forth from the Shroud had changed their course -- and were now rushing directly to-wards the wicked Don Wingus and his daughter!
“No!” he cried in outrage. “No! You cannot do this to me! I am Magister Don Wingus, the rightful ruler of all the world! I am the superior being! I am… ! I am… ! I… !”
I heard Stacy Wingus scream and her evil father let forth one final bellow of indignation before the power fully engulfed them. Then, within seconds, the energy dispersed and faded away -- taking the two occult criminals with it.
“Are you all right, Millie?” I enquired concernedly.
“Yes, I’m okay," she replied. “Are you?”
“I am fine, love,” I assured her. “What about you, Kit-10?”
“Systems undamaged and functioning normally, s--.” answered the computerised cat.
“Good to hear. Excellent shooting, by the way.”
“Of course, s--.”
“But what happened?” Millie asked. “I know that Don Wingus lost control of the Shroud energies, but where did they go? He and his daughter, I mean.”
“The reversing power of the Shroud energies triggered a trans-dimensional reaction,” I explained, “taking them into another reality, outside of Time and Space, where they can no longer do harm.”
I took the Shroud of Turin from the altar and carefully folded it up.
“We will have to get in touch with our Vatican contacts as soon as possible,” I stated, “so that the Shroud can be returned to its proper place. It is Saturday morning in Rome, so the Pope will be up early to watch television.”
“Really?” giggled Millie.
“Indeed so,” I affirmed. “The Holy Father is a big anime fan, hmmm?’
***** DANIEL RUMANOS AND MILLIE DRAKE SHALL RETURN
