It was at a time before I met my wonderful Millie Drake that this bizarre episode took place. I had just become aware of a series of video messages being posted on the internet site of the police department in Needham, Massachusetts. These videos were commentary by a certain John Schlittler, the very chief of police for that town, who claimed to be concerned about the prevalence of “underage grooming” and “child sex trafficking” in the community.
All of this would have been of absolutely no importance to me -- Doctor Daniel Rumanos, extraterrestrial espionage agent -- if it had not been for the fact that my name was mentioned several times in these public service videos. Apparently, Chief John Schlittler of the Needham Police Department was attempting to falsely link me in New York City to these horrid crimes in his area. As I had never had any connection with his individual, it caused me to ponder as to what eldritch influence was upon this Schlittler person that would cause him to so needlessly defame my name and reputation.
The upshot of this is that I travelled to the small town of Needham in order to investigate these going-on in person. I arrived outside of the police station, parking my specially-modified azure-coloured Alfa Romeo and immediately entering the building. I was of course clad in my usual finery; including a frilled poet shirt, purple velvet suit, jungle boots, panama hat, Star of David necklace, and one of my favourite opera capes.
Utilising my Algolitish mind powers to cover my presence in the station, I investigated several rooms searching for clues as to what could have caused Chief Schlittler’s apparent madness. I took the transonic mezuzah from my jacket pocket and used it to scan the area.
“By the Triune Star!” I swore upon looking at the resultant readings. “This shows the presence of Maskim energy! That would explain quite a bit, hmmm? The demonic spirits known as the Maskim -- those ‘seven that lie in wait’ spoken of with horror in ancient Sumerian chronicles -- are actually apparitions of the prehistoric royal family of the planet Mercury, whose tyrannical ways and psychic abilities caused them to linger after death and to migrate across the planets of the Solar System, becoming the demons known to the Magi of Chaldea.”
I returned the transonic to my pocket and continued my trek through that headquarters of the Needham Police Department. Soon, I encountered an horror indeed. Just as I entered one of the interrogation rooms, an huge whirling mass of ebon black energy suddenly appeared in my path -- heading directly to-wards me!
Then, as soon as it had appeared, the horrible phantasm vanished.
“That was only a warning,” I pondered. “The Maskim are aware of my presence here. A full manifestation of them will be far more terrifying. I wonder if…”
I was suddenly interrupted by a figure entering through the door of the room. It was a middle-aged man of medium height, heavily muscular, and with bulldoggish Germanic features, a shaved head, and icy blue eyes; clad in the dress uniform of an high-ranking local police official.
“Hello, Doctor Rumanos,” he said, his voice locked in a threatening tone. “I knew you couldn’t help sticking your big hooked nose into police business, especially after we exposed you for what you are. I’m Chief John Schlittler of the Needham Police Department, and this is your last day alive!”
“Well, Chief Schlittler,” said I, ignoring his threats, “I wonder if you have any idea what is actually happening here, hmmm?”
“I’m just sick and tired of you people!” he bellowed, his voice rough and uncouth. “You Jews and Blacks and immigrants trying to pass yourselves off as decent Americans! I’m tired of it, do you hear?”
“Ah, so that is your goal, hmmm? Xenophobia. Racism and anti-Semitism. Such hatred is what attracted the demons to you. It makes you so easy for them to manipulate.”
“Shut up, you damned kiddie-diddler! I’m going to kick your frigging greasy ass! Then I‘ll use the power I have to cleanse this world of your kind and make a future for the superior white race!”
As he spoke, I noticed his eyes flashing with a darksome effulgence -- the very sign of demoniacal possession.
“That does it, Chief,” said I, taking the transonic mezuzah from my pocket. “You are possessed by the Maskim, and I must…”
Before I could continue, Schlittler raised his hand and a bolt of black energy shot from it, hitting the transonic so it flew from my hand and hit the floor across the interrogation room.
“You see, Doctor?” shouted the possessed policeman. “I have the power to kill you, and you can’t stop me!”
With this, the dark energy suddenly burst forth all around Chief John Schlittler, accompanied with an odour like unto cheap perfume mixed with excrement and a sound like unto the baying of an hundred thousand hounds of hell. The energy, resplendent in its total ebony darkness, then blasted out directly to-wards me!
I am at this juncture left to ponder, my dear friends and most loyal readers, if you can even begin to recognise and comprehend the total abject horror, forsooth the complete and utter terror of what I was then experiencing. There I was -- Doctor Daniel Rumanos, Intergalactic Man of Mystery and Knight of the Eternal Spires -- facing the demonically possessed police chief known to eternal infamy as John Schlittler. There I was as he released the full power of the legendary Maskim of Mercury directly upon me -- the same phantasmagorical alien power that he intended to utilise in his bid to spread his horrible racist and anti-Semitic doctrines around the world!
“I have the power at my command!” repeated the insane police chief. “I have the power, and will use it to end you! You can't fight back no matter how much you want to be a cop killer!”
The power hit me hard, sending me careening across the room. It then completely surrounded me, engulfing me in a darkling maelstrom of absolute satanic horror. I saw the hovering essence of the seven Maskim, insane in screaming total madness beyond all reckoning. The stench was horrendous, and the infernal noise an howling cacophony of unreserved dread.
“Die, Doctor Rumanos!” I heard Schlittler’s voice reaching me within the demonic whirlwind. “Die! Die, and I can then go on to protect the future of the white race!”
As I struggled against the horror of the Maskim power, I then noticed something. I had hit on the floor near to where the transonic mezuzah had landed. I quickly reached down and picked it up, activating a certain setting before then raising the device on high.
“Baruch atah Adonai!” I prayed as the mezuzah sent forth a wave like unto one of pure celestial light.
“What!” I heard John Schlittler bellow in outrage. “What have you done, you damned frigging…!”
He had noticed that the demonic force was reversing its course, no longer surrounding me but in stead headed directly to-wards him.
“No!” screamed Chief John Schlittler in terror as the Maskim power hit him. “You can’t do this, you frigging cop killer! Cop killer! Aaaaaaaaahh!”
The dark power had surrounded Schlittler completely, swirling around him in an evil cadence of complete ungodly horror. This lasted a few moments before the Maskim force then abruptly disappeared -- leaving behind it the dead body of what had once been the hate-mongering police chief John Schlittler.
“‘Cop killer’ indeed,” said I. “Demon killer, more like!”
I stood up and brushed off my clothing before looking around the interrogation room. All was now quiet. Chief John Schlittler was dead and there was no sign of the terrible power of the Maskim. The horror was gone.
“The Hebrew exorcism was effective,” I opined, returning the mezuzah to my pocket. “The horror of the Maskim has been cast into an inter-dimensional abyss.”
I left the police station and went back to my car, returning to my NYC headquarters without incident. Without the dire influence of the Maskim, the false propaganda about me was forgotten, and the death of John Schlittler -- chief of police in the town of Needham, Massachusetts -- was attributed to a massive stroke caused by overwork at his task as a law enforcement official. Forsooth, the town’s mayor even awarded him a posthumous medal!
***** DANIEL RUMANOS AND MILLIE DRAKE SHALL RETURN
