BLACK JUJU

The girl stood in that city alleyway clad only in a bright orange and blue leotard. She was exceedingly beautiful, with long auburn hair and cobalt blue eyes. Tall for her eleven years, her figure was slender and fit. She was obviously a bit nervous, yet her determined gaze showed a certain confidence beyond what would be expressed by many in such a situation.

Surrounding her were three figures in black vestment robes, topped with masks and hoods that covered their faces except for the eyes. Each of them had a blood-red symbol emblazoned on the chest area of his garment -- an insignia made up of three inverted interlocking triangles. It is a symbol known as one of extreme and unmitigated evil; the symbol of the occult terrorist organisation known to eternal infamy as Spectral Paranormal.

The three figures then moved menacingly to-wards the young girl, each approaching her from a different angle, cautious but nonetheless secure in their idea that she could offer no resistance to whatever assault they intended.

It was then, at the very last moment before they reached her, that the girl went into action. She suddenly burst forth with a series of incredibly fast martial arts moves; a series of expert and perfectly executed kicks and punches that shocked and awed her three would-be attackers even more than physically affecting them.

They offered a show of resistance, but it was to no avail. Within a matter of moments, two of the black-clad figures were unconscious on the pavement, whilst the third began to run in fear down the alley away from the girl.

It was at that particular moment of that cloudy afternoon that I stepped out from my hiding place behind an old abandoned automobile and took down the last of the attackers. I quickly laid him flat with a blow of my fist. He hit the ground hard, obviously slipping into total unconsciousness.

I was clad in my usual finery, including a frilled poet shirt, purple velvet suit, jungle boots, panama hat, and of course one of my favourite opera capes. I straightened my clothing a bit from the slight disarray that had occurred from the hiding and then hitting the enemy agent. I checked that the other two were also insentient, and then I walked over to the girl. She is one of my adopted daughters.

“Excellent work, Zohara,” I approved. “Your first field training exercise is complete. Your usage of your abilities is growing, and with time you will be ready to join the fight against the powers of darkness in earnest. I knew those Spectral Paranormal agents would not be able to resist an attempt to kidnap you. Worry not, however. If you had not been in control of the situation, I would have taken over and kept you quite safe, hmmm?”

“Did I really do well, Tatteh?” enquired the young girl in her charming Israeli accent. “Oh, please tell me that I did it well. It means so much to me!”

“You did well indeed, my dear,” I assured her. “I can absolutely assure you that you did well indeed. You have more than begun to prove your worthiness to aid in the eternally ongoing battle against evil in this world and others, and most of all, you have continued to prove yourself worthy of the name -- Zohara Rumanos!!” …

My name is Doctor Daniel Rumanos. I carry within my blood the vastly superior genes of the mysterious Watchers of Algol, the most intellectually advanced race in all of the known galaxies, whose technology is so sophisticated it appears as magic to lesser beings.

Whilst most Algolites live in elitist seclusion from the rest of the Universe, I am an operative for an organisation known as the KOSMIKOS. Assisted by the beautiful Miss Millie Drake, I protect Earth from all manner of menace. I am -- The Daemon-Star!!! …

“So how is Zohara’s training going?” enquired Millie Drake.

“She is doing quite well indeed,” I replied, tossing my hat and cloak on a near by hallstand. “Quite the prodigy she is, hmmm?”

We were at our headquarters, located as it is inside the golden trapezoidal rooftop of a certain downtown skyscraper, the bottom floor of which is a take-away restaurant known as “The Pizza Gate”. Millie Drake is an exquisitely beautiful young lady; petite and perfect with luxurious chestnut hair, lovely violet eyes, and sun kissed skin. The purple dress she wore only served to highlight the wonders of her slender teen figure.

“It’s a good thing that we found her with those other young Israelis that had been kidnapped by the Palestinian terrorists,” said Millie. “Abilities like she has would be dangerous if left in the wrong hands.”

“You are quite right, my dear Mills,” I agreed. “Zohara and some of the others seem to be a sort of genetic mutation, likely the results of a secret experiment of the Israeli government in the ongoing struggles against terrorism in the region. Their parents were killed in the recent war in Gaza, leaving these young people as unfortunate targets for the enemies of Israel. Bringing her here to America was an excellent idea, since we were called upon to help with the operation due to our connections with Mossad and the Executive Security Force, hmmm? Today’s training exercise is one of many young Zohara Rumanos must undergo, but for now she has returned to Allentown to continue her Nakh studies, and we must get along with our next assignment.”

“That would be concerning that magician you told me about?”

“Quite so. His name is Anthony Ware, and our instruments here at HQ have detected certain strange emanations coming from him during his stage magic performances.”

“What sort of emanations?” queried Millie.

“That is what we must now find out,” I returned. “Kit-10, have you completed your analysis of the energies associated with Anthony Ware?”

“Of course, s--,” replied our mobile personal computer, which resembles nothing more or less than a small mechanical cat, in her simulated yet pleasantly feminine voice. “Results show emanations to be of certain forces referred to as ‘elementals’, actually being the mentalist essence of beings that existed upon this planet before the development of the human race. The particular type associated with stage magician Anthony Ware are beings that once ruled the western area of the African continent.”

(It should be noted here that Kit-10, along with her other feline characteristics, is possessed of the total inability to openly show respect to anyone. In point of fact, the closest she ever comes to it is by addressing me with a slight “s--” sound -- for “sir” -- and Millie Drake by “m--” -- for “ma’am“.)

“By the Daemonian Spires!” I swore “West African elementals. That would be the powers sometimes referred to as Black Juju.”

“Juju is also a sort of magical charm, isn’t it?” asked Millie.

“Quite so,” I affirmed. “It comes from a French term meaning ‘plaything’, and was used in the American South to refer to a dark religion practice by certain slaves -- a religion that involved curses and blood rites.”

“Oh my goodness!” exclaimed Millie Drake. “We had better do something about this right away!”

“Indeed so,” I agreed, fetching my hat and cape. “Kit-10, you had better stay here. It is likely the powers of the Juju could have a negative effect on your systems. Come along, Millie. We have work to do!” …

A short time later, just after sunset, Millie and I arrived at the long building in which is found the establishment known as the Royal Hotel.

“So this is where Anthony Ware is performing his magic show tonight?” questioned my companion.

“So it appears,” I said. “He has billed himself as ‘The City’s Greatest Magician’. That just sounds like typical showbiz bloviation, but it could have a more dangerous import due to his association with the Juju, hmmm?”

We were walking along the pavement, just approaching the hotel entrance, when Miss Millie Drake suddenly screamed in horror.

“Oh my gosh, Daniel!” she cried. “Look at that!”

I looked up to see what had so alarmed my friend and beheld a terror indeed. It was a large shapeless mass of darksome ebony black energy -- and it was headed directly for us!!

Then, as quickly as it had appeared, the awful conglomeration of energy vanished.

“Daniel, what was that?” asked Millie.

“It was a manifestation of the Juju powers,” I explained. “The forces we have come here to oppose are aware of us. That was a mere warning; an attempt to frighten us. Be aware, my dear Mills, that the actual demoniacal horror we will be facing is in truth far more powerful than what we have seen here.”

With this, Millie Drake and I entered the hotel in continuation of our mission. …

Inside the hotel’s theatre, Anthony Ware had begun his magic act. He stood on the stage, resplendent in his black tuxedo, gazing at the assembled audience -- mostly bored hotel guests with nothing else to occupy their time -- with a look of facetious amusement on his strong African-American features.

“Good evening, everyone,” he began. “My name is Anthony Ware, and welcome to my world of wonders! Tonight, right here on this stage, I will show you things like you have never seen before. I will show you acts of magic that are the greatest in this city, in this country, in this world! I will show you the powers of -- The Black Juju!!”

With this, Anthony Ware raised his arms and suddenly there did burst forth from him a surge of the ebony energies of eldritch terror. At this, some of the audience gasped in shock, whilst others simply stood up and left, thinking it all to be just a cheap illusion.

Millie Drake and I then entered the theatre, and beholding what the black magician was doing, boldly approached the stage area.

“Ah, it’s Doctor Daniel Rumanos and your little girlfriend,” chuckled Ware. “We have been expecting you. The powers of the Black Juju have told me of your opposition.”

“It is all over now, Ware,” I admonished. “As agents of the Kosmikos, we cannot allow you to bring forth the Juju powers on this helpless world. Cease from your actions immediately.”

“No, Doctor, that will not be. I am Anthony Ware the magician, and I will use the Juju powers to establish myself as the new ruler of this world. I shall have money, power, and influence beyond anything my ancestors ever even dreamed. I will conquer the white race and take their women! I will reign supreme, and nothing will stop me! Nothing, do you hear? Not even you!!”

And then Anthony Ware suddenly aimed his hands to-wards us, and the horrid powers of the Black Juju began to surge to-wards Millie and me!

“Now, Doctor Rumanos, your opposition is ending!” continued the terrible black magician. “Now, by the powers of the Juju I do declare that you shall die!!”

Tell me, my dear friends and readers, can you even begin to comprehend the absolute unspeakable horror, forsooth the unnameable terror of the situation in which we then found ourselves? There we were, my companion Miss Millie Drake and me -- Doctor Daniel Rumanos. There we were, in the theatre of the Royal Hotel. There we were, facing the horrid black magician known as Anthony Ware. There we were, as the full awesome power of the unholy force of the Black Juju rushed directly for us -- in truth an energy fully capable of bringing about an agonising death!

“You will now die, Doctor Daniel Rumanos!” repeated Anthony Ware. “You will now die, and I will be free to subjugate Earth to the powers of the Black Juju!”

“Millie,” I said, ignoring Ware’s taunts, “hold my hand. Close your eyes and hold my hand.”

She did so and I concentrated deeply on thoughts of love and light and joy. Then I spoke the prayer:

“Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam!”

With this intonation, all suddenly changed. The horrid force of the Black Juju that had been aimed at Millie and me changed direction -- and in stead focused itself directly to-wards the evil magician Anthony Ware.

“What!” he cried out in shock. “No! No!! Noooooooooooo!!”

The ebony powers of darkness surrounded Ware and, within a very few short moments, totally engulfed him before then suddenly vanishing. I looked around the room. There was no sign of Anthony Ware or of any of the eldritch horrors that he had attempted to bring forth upon the world.

“Jew beats Juju,” I mused.

“Daniel, what exactly happened?” asked Millie Drake.

“My invocation of the old Hebrew blessing worked,” I explained. “The worship of the One True God, which as you remember is based upon our own Algolitish technology, is a potent exorcism against things such as the Juju, hmmm? The dark forces then reversed against Anthony Ware and took him out of existence.”

By now, the few remaining audience members had left the hotel theatre, thinking the “show” was at an end.

“Well, my dear Mills,” I continued, “it appears that our work here is done, and now we can…”

“Daniel, look out!” my companion interrupted.

Before I could turn about to see what had alarmed Millie, I felt a blasting pain in my upper back area, this almost causing me to fall to the floor.

“By the Triple Star…” I swore. “What was… ?”

By now, I had managed to turn enough to face my attacker. I beheld that it was once again someone in the black hooded robe and insignia of a Spectral Paranormal agent, and he was holding an energy weapon blaster gun in his hand. His manner and elegance of movement showed that he was different from any of the agents I had encountered earlier, but there was nevertheless something familiar about him. The black mask covering his features, however, precluded any positive identification.

I started to move forward against him, but stumbled due to the pain I was still experiencing from being shot by the energy weapon. Then, as I watched, my attacker began to vanish in the shimmering light of a matter transportation beam. …

The glare from the beam covered the possibility of us noticing him removing the mask and revealing his face -- the visage of the arch-villain known as magister Don Wingus!

“Checkmate, Rumanos,” he said with a look of evil mirth whilst fading from sight. “Checkmate.” …

“Are you all right, Daniel?!” Millie cried concernedly.

“I… am not sure,” I admitted. “That energy weapon… It caused some internal damage. I should be… all right in time, but…”

“Who was that?” wondered Millie. “Do you think it could have been… ?”

Then, before my companion could finish her thought, we heard a familiar gasping and moaning sound -- at which materialised before us a shape like a Roman column with a round portal-like door in the front of it.

“The DiTraS!” said Millie Drake. “Daniel, what is it doing here?”

(The DiTraS -- pronounced “DYE-tress” and standing for Dimensional Transport Sphere -- is one of those amazing cosmic travel vehicles available only to our people, the Watchers of the Daemon-Star Algol.)

“The Kosmikos of Algol…” I stammered. “It seems they have sent it. We have a… new mission; a mission… that requires its use as a Space and Time… travel vehicle.”

“But Daniel, you’re wounded and need to rest!”

“I cannot, love. For the Kosmikos to send us on a mission… this way. It must be of… extreme importance. Come along… Millie.”

Wincing from the continued pain, I just managed to stumble through the portal of the DiTraS with my dear Millie’s help. Once we were inside, the doorway closed and, with the sounds of its engines again engaged, the combination Spaceship/Time-travel machine disappeared from the hotel theatre into the void.

***** DANIEL RUMANOS AND MILLIE DRAKE SHALL RETURN

VAMPIRES OF VEGAS

Jessica O’Mallie was a disgustingly corpulent woman, an observation made all the more grotesque when coupled with the fact that she was a vampire.

“Go somewhere and die, Daniel Rumanos!” she shrieked at me as we faced each other on that city street. “You won’t stop us! We are the vampire coven and we will soon take over the world!”

I was clad in my usual finery; including a frilled poet shirt, purple velvet suit, jungle boots, and panama hat, along with one of my favourite opera capes.

“You would do well to cooperate, O’Mallie,” I countered. “You are a low level bloodsucker at best. Our only concern with you is information. Who is the leader of your coven?”

“I will tell you nothing, Rumanos,” returned the vampire, her obese figure straining against the humorously-tight Victorian-style black dress she wore. “Since you have come to our space, I am only here to kill you!”

With this pronouncement, Jessica O’Mallie jumped at me, her dyed blood-red hair streaming behind her. She hit me hard, her strength that of the supernatural. It was only because of my own superior alien abilities that I was able to withstand her assault.

“You will now die, Rumanos!” O’Mallie continued, bearing her razor sharp fangs. “I will take your Algolite blood to feed upon, and leave you lifeless on the street!”

It was at that very crucial moment that Jessica O’Mallie was hit from behind by a sharply focused laser beam -- forsooth, a beam shot from the nose of my mobile personal computer that resembles nothing more or less than a small mechanical cat.

The little robot, accompanied as she was by my dear friend and companion, the lovely Millie Drake, then shot another blast at the sickening O’Mallie, this causing the vampire to loosen her hold on me.

“Good shooting, Kit-10!” I approved.

“Of course, s--,” replied the metallic kitten in her simulated yet pleasantly feminine voice. 

(It should be noted here that Kit-10, along with her other feline characteristics, is possessed of the complete inability to openly show respect to anyone. In truth, the closest she ever comes to it is by addressing me with a slight “s--” sound -- for “sir” -- and Millie by “m--” -- for ma’am”.)

“Millie, Kit-10,” said I, “stand back and shield your eyes. I shall handle this from here.”

Before Jessica O’Mallie could recover form the laser blast, I reached into my pocket and retrieved a device resembling a large writing pen -- in actuality, an highly-advanced scientific instrument known as the transonic turnscrew. I pointed it directly at O’Mallie and activated one of its myriad settings.

Just for a few moments, that city night was as bright as midday, as a golden light shone forth from the transonic device. The vampire Jessica O’Mallie screamed in pain and, within a very few seconds, crumbled away into dust.

“Daniel, are you okay?” queried Millie Drake concernedly.

“I am fine now, love,” I assured her whilst returning the device to my pocket. “Fortunately, the transonic’s artificial sunlight setting is still functioning well, hmmm?”

Millie is an exceedingly beautiful young lady; petite and perfect with luxurious chestnut hair, sun-kissed skin, and enchanting violet eyes. The sundress she wore only served to highlight the wondrous shape of her early-adolescent figure.

“So the computer equipment at headquarters was correct then,” she said, “that some kind of weird signal could be found here -- but what does it have to do with… vampires?!”

“That is exactly what we must ascertain, my dear Mills,” I said, “and apparently, this is the place to do it!”

I then turned and looked at the sign for the building we were about to enter. “Brooklyn Community Center,” it read, “Las Vegas Night”. …

My name is Doctor Daniel Rumanos. I carry within my blood the vastly superior genes of the legendary Watchers of Algol, the most intellectually advanced race in all of the known galaxies, whose technology is so sophisticated it appears to be miraculous to lesser beings.

Whilst most Algolites live in elitist seclusion from the rest of the Universe, I am an operative for an organisation known as the KOSMIKOS. Assisted by the beautiful Miss Millie Drake, I protect Earth from all manner of menace. I am -- The Daemon-Star!!! …

We entered the community centre and beheld an even larger sign, once again colourfully proclaiming “VEGAS NIGHT!!!”. I briefly pointed at the word “Vegas” and winked at Millie Drake, who smiled back at me.

The room was fairly large, now temporarily fitted out with numerous gaming tables and slot machines, along with signs explaining the children’s charity to which all profits would be donated. At the side was what appeared to be an elevated stage, for now covered by a curtain. Most of the patrons were somewhat elderly folks of the caucasian type. Whilst looking around, we headed directly to the bar at the back of the chamber.

“I shall have a rum and cola with a twist of lime, please,” I told the bartender, a young African-American man of obviously homosexual proclivities, “and an iced tea lemonade for my young lady friend, hmmm?”

“Do you want anything, Kit-10?” joked Millie.

“This unit does not consume beverages, m--,” replied the robot.

“Your drinks, sir,” said the bartender, to whom I gave a generous gratuity along with the price of our refreshments.

“That is quite good,” I said, tasting my drink. “Nothing quite like Puerto Rican rum, hmmm?”

“So, Daniel,” said Millie Drake after sampling her iced tea lemonade. “How are there vampires here? You said that Prince Orlock was the last of them when he was destroyed on the planet Murnau.”

“Orlock was indeed the last of the original Vampire race that so ravaged the galaxies those many ages ago,” I explained. “Nevertheless, there were certain human beings that were infected with vampirism by the Nosferatu, and themselves became a sort of offshoot sub-race of vampires. I have encountered some of them in the past, and they have many of the same powers as the ancient Nosferatu, along with the necessity to feast upon the blood of the living. There was even one Algolite, by the name of Thaskales, who became a vampire, hmmm? What we need to find out here is exactly who is the leader of the ‘vampire coven’ of which that Jessica O’Mallie creature spoke. It would have to be a rather remarkable individual; stronger than most rank-and-file human vampires; one who could…”

I was suddenly interrupted by the sound of recorded fanfare music, followed by an announcer’s voice saying:

“Ladies and gentleman, we hope you are enjoying our Las Vegas Night here at the Brooklyn Community Center! Now, for your entertainment this evening, we present the gothic magician, the master of bizarre mentalism -- the amazing Lord Vladimir Deich!”

With this, the curtain opened and a man appeared on the stage. He was quite large, in fact morbidly obese, and was clad in a pitch black suit of Nineteenth Century style, topped by a black cape with a blood-red lining. His hair was also of ebon hue, and his face had the ghastly paleness of death.

“Good evening,” he pronounced, his voice denoting a certain southern twang. “I am Vladimir Deich and I am here tonight to show you magic and mentalist feats like you have never before experienced; for I am not only the great gothic magician, I am also -- the lord of vampires!”

I immediately reached into my jacket pocket and took out the transonic device. Then, before I could activate it, I heard Millie Drake scream.

“Look out, Daniel!” she cried “Vampire bats!”

Indeed, at that very moment, a flurry of large black bats suddenly descended upon me and took the transonic from my grasp, then quickly flying to the other side of the room and dropping it behind one of the slot machines.

“Greetings, Doctor Rumanos and Miss Drake,” said Vladimir Deich, an evil chuckle entering his voice. “My minions have informed me of your coming, and we expect you to play an important part in this evening’s proceedings.”

“Kit-10!” I called. “Blast him!”

The robotic feline then shot several beams of her nose laser directly at the one known as Vladimir Deich, but it was to no avail. They had no effect, and he indeed laughed at the attempt.

“It is no use, Doctor,” said Deich. “I am the vampire lord; the strongest in existence. Within me is the power of the ancient Nosferatu, that mighty species of vampires from the planet Drakul Alpha in Galactic Cluster 666 that warred against your own Algolite race so long ago. You cannot stand against me, for I am Vladimir Deich, and I shall ascend to the very heights of power and establish my vampire coven as the supreme creatures of this world!”

“Vladimir Deich, hmmm?” I pondered. “Kit-10, what do you have in your databanks on this person?”

“Accessing, s--,” replied the robot. “Vladimir Deich. Fifty-six years of age. Originally from the area of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Long career as a nightclub entertainer, from which he made certain connections to the occult terrorist network.”

“Thank you, Kit-10,” I said. “Yes, I thought it would be something like that. So along the way of your journeys into the occult, Deich, you became infected with vampirism, hmmm?”

“Your investigative abilities are quite good, Doctor Rumanos,” answered the vampire. “But… not good enough!”

I then heard Millie Drake scream in horror and whirled around to see what was happening. Millie was being held closely by a woman; a large and portly woman with black hair and a long dress of similar darkling hue. In point of fact, the woman quite resembled a female version of Vladimir Deich, and her pale complexion showed that she was also a vampire.

“That is my sister, the Lady Bergetta,” announced Deich. “Beware, Doctor. If you or your robot here attempt to make one more move against me, she will drain your little girl companion of all her blood!”

“Deich, you ungodly friend!” I charged.

“Ungodly indeed,” countered the vampire lord. “That is what gives me power over the beings of darkness -- as you shall see!”

With this, the huge conglomeration of black bats then descended upon me like a wave of utter hellish blackness. In force, they began to pummel my form, in truth an assault that I could feel as intense pain directly into my very soul.

“You have failed, Doctor,” said Vladimir Deich in a tone of wicked triumph. “You have failed and now your time is finished!”

Please do allow me to ask you a question, my dear friends and readers. Is it at all possible, do you think, for you to recognise the extreme terror, forsooth the total and complete horror of the situation in which the lovely Miss Millie Drake, the robotic Kit-10, and I -- Doctor Daniel Rumanos -- then found ourselves? There we were, in a building innocuously labelled as the Brooklyn Community Center, being attacked by the horrid vampire lord known as Vladimir Deich and his unholy minions. There we were, with Millie threatened by the possibility of having her precious blood drained from her body, whilst I was pummelled by the darksome energy bats of the legendary Nosferatu. There we were, with Kit-10’s nose laser and other technologies being to no avail. There we were, with seemingly the only hope we had -- the transonic turnscrew with its anti-vampiric sunlight setting -- far beyond my reach.

“It is all over for you, Doctor Rumanos of Algol!” repeated the infamous vampire known as Vladimir Deich. “You have failed in your mission to prevent my ascendancy! You have failed and now you and your friends shall meet your collective doom!”

“Millie,” I called, “now is the time. The formula of blessing.”

From her position being held captive by the evil Bergetta Deich, the beautiful young lady known as Millie Drake then uttered certain words, words that I said with her in unison:

“Baruch Hashem! Baruch Hashem! Baruch Hashem!”

At this invocation, a light appeared. It was a light of pure whiteness, in sooth a brilliance of divine portent. It surrounded Millie and me, with a connection like a bridge of power between us.

The female vampire known as Bergetta then backed away from Millie in fear, the black conglomeration of bats ceased to be, and I heard Vladimir Deich shout in outrage and shock.

“What!” he said. “That is -- The Pure Mystery! But how can that be? It can only be conjured forth by Algolites who have undergone the ceremony of holy marriage, and then only when they visit the very site of their union!”

“Your studies into Algolite culture are indeed deep, Deich,” I told him. “You are correct concerning the properties of the Pure Mystery, the protective light of pre-Creation which nothing of evil can touch. In truth, Millie and I were joined in matrimony some time ago when we were in Las Vegas -- yes, the actual one in Nevada -- with my old friend Rabbi Jacob Solomon performing the ceremony. As you may know, the Kabala and other forms of Jewish mysticism are based upon the science of the Watchers, so that was most appropriate, hmmm? We have kept it secret all this time in order to prevent it being exploited by certain forces. That is why my dear wife is still known to the general public as ‘Miss Millie Drake’. As for our ability to conjure the powers here at 'Vegas Night' on the east coast, well… that is just a bit of a cheat, but you as a magician should certainly understand that!”

Whilst I was speaking to Deich, I walked over to where the transonic turnscrew was hidden and picked it up, the white light joining me to Millie still playing around my form.

“And now, Vladimir Deich,” said I, holding the device aloft, “I do bring your end!”

With this, I activated the sunlight setting and with the flash of golden radiance, the vampires Lord Vladimir Deich and Lady Bergetta both screamed in pain and crumbled into dust. Within seconds, they were no more.

“By the Stellar Triplicity!” I swore to myself, deactivating the setting and returning the device to my pocket. “What is this thing with overweight vampires?!”

Millie Drake then ran onto my arms. The light of the Pure Mystery, its presence no longer needed, then faded from view.

“All is now well, my dear Mills,” I said. “The vampire coven is no more.”

Then a surprising thing happened, the people assembled around at the community centre gave us a round of applause before returning to their small-stakes gambling.

“Daniel,” giggled Millie, “they think that all of this was just part of the entertainment!”

“It is perhaps best that they continue to have that delusion, hmmm?” I pondered. “There are indeed some things in this Universe that Earthlings are not as yet prepared to know.”

“Are you okay, Kit-10?” queried Millie.

“All systems functioning normally, m--,” replied the robotic cat.

“Quite good,” I approved. “Quite good. Now, my dear Millie, let us return to the bar and have another drink in celebration, hmmm? I am indeed quite found of that Puerto Rican rum.”

***** DANIEL RUMANOS AND MILLIE DRAKE SHALL RETURN

HORROR OF ROBOPEDEROSIS

The Kaiju are a most incredibly ancient order of being. In fact, they are actually creatures that came into existence during the earliest eras after the formation of Earth itself, having been born out of the pulsating fields of radiation from which the planet had initially formed, the intensity of which had somehow attracted certain psychic emanations from the future. The Kaiju, also remembered in mythology as the Titans, were huge and grotesque; distorted shapes of species that would exist much later in the world’s cycle of life.

After reigning for countless untold ages, the Kaiju went into a type of hibernation, many of them never to be seen again; having eventually dissolved into the nothingness from which they seemingly came. Nevertheless, some of them survived to rise again, including the greatest of them all, the mighty monster known as Pederosis.

In form, Pederosis resembles a bipedal lizard hundreds of feet tall, green of colour and thickly muscled and with a triple row of serrated spikes down his back. His subtly-slanted eyes denote a keen intelligence, and his incredible powers include the ability to generated radioactive flame breath that is lethal to most living matter.

It was in what we know as the modern era of human domination over Earth that Pederosis returned, having been awakened from his long slumber by experiments in atomic weaponry in the South Pacific Ocean. The monster rose up from the depths and found himself in a world unlike any the planet had seen before, when the conflicts and petty hatreds of humanity generate evils greater than any he had faced as the ancient Warrior King of the Kaiju.

In time, Pederosis became a friend of the human race, serving as an inspiration to greatness and better things, and often protecting the planet from other monstrous beings generated by science gone mad and by the various plots of alien invaders. He defeated them all in battles amazing, proving his own dominance as the heroic giant lizard now feared by the forces of evil.

Amongst the greatest of the alien threats faced by Pederosis was a robotic duplicate of himself, made of shining silver-toned material and possessing all the powers of the mighty Kaiju himself. Utilised by an alien race from the Nigrescent Nebula, this Robopederosis almost succeeded in aiding its extraterrestrial masters in achieving domination over Earth, and was only defeated when Pederosis manifested previously unknown powers in order to overpower it.

Robopederosis was torn to sundry pieces and the darkling aliens beaten for all time; but something remained -- something that would be used again by an even more notorious enemy of the human race. It was something that would lead to a conflict larger than anything even the mighty Pederosis had before faced -- forsooth a conflict that included the greatly empowered return of the hideous robotic monster Robopederosis itself.

This, my dear friends and most loyal readers, is the story of that conflict. It is a tale of a terror beyond all sane imagining, an account of a grotesque and unhallowed fear beyond the very limits of madness. It is a terror by which the very planet Earth could have indeed been utterly annihilated, in truth an obscene horror by which the human race itself could have been exterminated forever. It was an extreme and unmitigated horror, an evil unlike any other found in all of Time and Space, a darkness of eldritch screaming insanity and of truly gigantic proportions. It was -- The Horror of Robopederosis!! …

My name is Doctor Daniel Rumanos. I carry within my blood the vastly superior genes of the legendary Watchers of Algol, the most intellectually advanced race in all of the known galaxies, whose technology is so sophisticated it appears to be miraculous to lesser beings.

Whilst most Algolites live in elitist seclusion from the rest of the Universe, I am an operative for an organisation known as the KOSMIKOS. Assisted by the beautiful Miss Millie Drake, I protect Earth from all manner of menace. I am -- The Daemon-Star!!! …

“Brick Township, New Jersey,” I said as we drove into the small east coast city. “This is from where our equipment detected the strange energy readings.”

Driving my specially-modified canary-coloured Edwardian roadster (affectionately known as “Lizzie”), I was clad in my usual finery; including a frilled poet shirt, purple velvet suit, jungle boots, sunspecs, panama hat, and one of my favourite opera capes.

“It doesn’t look like a bad place,” said my companion, Miss Millie Drake. “Do you think the energy readings denote the presence of aliens?”

Millie is an exceedingly beautiful young lady; petite and perfect with luxurious chestnut hair, enchanting violet yes, and sun-kissed skin. The royal blue dress she wore only served to highlight the shape of her slender teenage figure.

“The energy detected was being somewhat masked,” I replied to her, “so we could not ascertain much information concerning it back at headquarters; hence our travelling here forthwith.”

“Masking an energy reading would take genius level technical knowledge, wouldn’t it?” Millie enquired. “Oh my goodness, Daniel, do you think it could be… ?”

“Now now, my dearest Mills,” I admonished. “Let us not speculate until we have more evidence, hmmm?”

“It’s too bad Kit-10 couldn’t come along,” added Millie Drake, in reference to our catlike personal computer.

“Quite so,” I agreed, “but the emanations detected seemed too much like the type that has been known to negatively affect her systems.”

By now, we had stopped the car and gotten out on a street on which was an assortment of old industrial buildings. I reached into my pocket and took out the transonic turnscrew, an highly advanced scientific instrument in physical form somewhat resembling a large writing pen. I then activated the device, causing it to emit an high-pitched whirring sound, and utilised it to scan the area.

“Hmmm,” I pondered upon reading the resultant display on the device. “According to the transonic, the energy emissions are indeed coming from this area -- in fact from that building right over there. Millie, we must…”

“Oh my gosh!” the young lady suddenly cried. “Daniel, look at that!”

I turned to where my startled companion was indicating and beheld an oddity indeed. Seemingly floating in the sky just above the building that the transonic had signified was what looked like a large video screen. On the screen was the image of a man seemingly of middle years, clad in a black business suit with a long blood-red necktie and a side holster in which was a sleek laser gun, his face still showing signs of handsome distinction despite being marred with the scars of lifetimes of extreme unholy wickedness. His hair was long and dark, and his countenance decorated with a thin moustache and goatee. Most of all, his eyes shone with an absolute hypnotic glare.

Beside him was an insanely voluptuous young brunette with luminous blue-green eyes and her mouth painted like an inviting scarlet gash. She wore only a black and red string bikini.

Of course, I recognised them both immediately. I recognised the man as my oldest and most dangerous enemy; the renegade Algolite who has become the most feared criminal and terrorist in all of Time and Space, and the girl as his utterly insane daughter.

His image of the man on the floating video screen then began speaking, his voice tinged with the complete and utter madness I knew only too well:

“People of planet Earth, please attend carefully. I am making this broadcast to announce my ascendancy as supreme ruler over the human race. All governments of your kind will surrender to my ruler-ship immediately. Any attempt to resist will result in your total annihilation. I -- Master Wingus of Algol -- am now the Emperor of Earth!”

“Don Wingus,” I said his name. “I should have known. So he did escape from Minerva, and has reunited with his daughter Anastasia for whatever diabolical plan has now seized his crazed imagination.”

“But Daniel,” said Millie Drake, “why would he choose Brick Township as the place to do this?”

“Likely because of its position as a suburb of New York City,” I reasoned, twiddling my frills. “This transmission is likely being sent there -- from which it will soon be seen around the world!”

“But what could his plan be? He said that opposing him would lead to total annihilation. What could he have that could do that?”

“By the Triune Star!” I swore. “He must have something. Something hidden. Something of extreme power and destructive ability that he can use to hold the very planet hostage with fear. However, what could it be, hmmm? It looks like we shall soon see. Look!”

From the video screen, Don Wingus continued:

“We have prepared a demonstration of the powers that I wield over you. Look now, Earthlings, and behold my enforcer. See the mighty monster of steel that shall destroy all who do not bow before me! Behold -- Robopederosis!!”

Stalking now into the township was indeed the very horror of which the villain spoke, the gigantic robotic monster that had previously so terrorised the world!

“It really is Robopederosis!” Millie cried. “Don Wingus must have rebuilt it! Daniel, what are we going to do?!”

As we watched, the horrid gigantic mechanoid known as Robopederosis started on an utter rampage of destruction in Brick Township -- stomping down houses beneath its huge metallic feet, swiping off the tops of building with its horrible steel claws, and starting massive fires with its radioactive breath. We heard the helpless people of the township screaming in terror as they ran in utter cold fear of the monstrous terror.

“Daniel, what can we do to stop the robotic monster?” Millie repeated. “What can we do?!”

“There is one possibility, of course,” I returned.

“Can you call… him?” asked Millie Drake.

“It is fraught with danger and responsibility, but we must try.”

I turned the transonic to-wards Lizzie and caused the car’s onboard computer to emit a signal, forsooth a signal that travelled outwards across the Jersey Shore to the Atlantic Ocean. …

A few moments later, far out to sea, an huge surge of foaming water rose high above its usual level -- displaced by the gigantic being that was even now emerging in answer to my summons. …

“But what about Don Wingus and Anastasia?” questioned Millie Drake. “Is there any way we can get to them?”

“That appearance of the video screen was an utilisation of matter transmission technology, hmmm?” I pondered. “It is not Algolite technology. In fact, the Absolute Convention of the Watchers considers such things to be irrelevantly primitive. Wingus has probably stolen it from some alien race with which he has had business dealings. None the less, if I can catch onto the energy of the transmission with the transonic, I can switch its polarisation and we can use it to beam ourselves directly to its source.”

I quickly did some reprogramming on the transonic device and a shimmering light surrounded Millie and me, causing us to disappear from the scene. …

A moment later, we appeared in a room near the top of the building. Across from us we saw Don Wingus and his daughter, standing as they were amongst a structure of advanced machine equipment -- equipment from which a pulsating energy surged though a series of complexly intertwined wirings.

“Welcome, Rumanos,” sneered Wingus at our arrival. “We have been expecting you, and you have arrived just in time to witness my victory in becoming ruler of this world. Now, do not think of attempting any ridiculous heroics. As you can see, I am well armed.”

With this, Wingus significantly touched the sleek laser weapon at his side. …

Outside, Pederosis had arrived on the scene and rushed into battle with the mechanical terror known as Robopederosis, there in the downtown area of Brick Township, New Jersey. Nevertheless, despite his best and mightiest efforts, the heroic giant lizard was not able to prevail against the robotic horror. Repeatedly, Robopederosis managed to counter his onslaughts and, as the battle raged on, to appear to cause Pederosis to weaken in response to its own technological horrors. …

From the control room, Millie Drake and I watched the monster battle on a video screen.

“Gosh, Daniel,” cried Millie, “Pederosis is losing to the robotic monster!”

“So it appears, my dear,” I sadly agreed. “So it appears.”

Don Wingus then explained, “I have corrected the design flaw that led to Robopederosis being defeated before. It is now completely unstoppable.”

With this, Wingus suddenly drew the laser gun from its holster and aimed it directly at me.

“Now, you old meddler,” he continued, tightening his finger on the trigger, “just like that giant lizard friend of yours, you will die!!”

My dear friends and readers, do you even begin to formulate an understanding of the supreme and ungodly horror, forsooth the extreme and unimaginable terror in which we then found ourselves? Can you comprehend even an inkling of the unholy fear and darksome eldritch loathing to which we were at that time subjected? There we were, the beautiful Miss Millie Drake and me -- Doctor Daniel Rumanos -- held captive by total madness. There we were, being held captive by the infamous alien criminal known to eternal damnation as Magister Don Wingus, along with his dangerously seductive and totally insane young daughter, Anastasia. There we were, being threatened with death by the very same extraterrestrial malefactor that was also controlling the monstrous horror known as Robopederosis; the huge robotic monster that was now managing to seemingly defeat that protector of Earth -- the mighty King of the Kaiju, the heroic giant lizard Pederosis himself!

“Your big green friend cannot stand against Robopederosis,” stated Don Wingus, “just as you, Rumanos, cannot stand against me!”

It was then that Wingus pulled the trigger and sent a potentially deadly beam of laser light in my direction. However, the blast missed me, in stead hitting the floor near my feet.

“Father, no!” suddenly interrupted Anastasia Wingus, who had touched her evil father‘s hand so his laser gunfire had not hit me. “Please don’t kill Doctor Rumanos! You can shoot that silly little Miss Drake if you want, but please leave Doctor Rumanos alone! I told you before that I like him! Let me have him as a plaything when you are ruler of Earth, okay? Please, Father? Please?!”

“Stacy, you halfwit harlot!” shouted Don Wingus whilst he slapped his daughter hard with his free hand. “For the last time, I shall not tolerate your ridiculous sexual obsession with that old creep Daniel Rumanos!!”

Anastasia Wingus lost her footing from the force of her evil father’s slap. As Millie and I watched, Stacy fell backwards and landed in the very centre of the series of wires connecting the control device for the mechanical monster. The girl screamed in pain as the electricity jolted through her body, and then she went quiet in death.

I saw that Don Wingus was distracted by this, and quickly made utilisation of the opportunity, delivering a kung fu kick to his arm, causing the laser gun to fly from his hand and clatter to the floor several metres distant. I then delivered several blows of my fists to his head, leading the villain to fall backwards amongst the equipment.

“Millie!” I called whilst once again reprogramming the transonic turnscrew. “We only have a moment! The disturbance of the wiring will cause the equipment to short-circuit and explode. I need to catch hold of the matter transmit residual energy one last time and we can… Ah, here we go!”

With this, we vanished from the control room in the shimmer of the matter transit beam, then reappearing a moment later outside. A split second after this, the building from which we had just escaped erupted in flames and exploded into fragments.

We then looked and beheld that the battle of monsters had taken a definite turn.

“Daniel, look!” cheered Millie. “Pederosis is destroying the robotic monster!”

Indeed, Robopederosis had now become paralysed and the heroic giant lizard began tearing its metallic form to pieces.

“Quite so,” said I, returning the transonic to my jacket pocket. “Without the control mechanism, the metal monster is quite powerless.”

As we watched, Pederosis the used his radioactive flame breath to cause to melt into nothingness the final remains of Robopederosis -- the robotic horror that had so threatened the very planet.

“Daniel,” said Millie, “do you think we have finally seen the last of Don Wingus?”

“That is difficult to say, Millie,” I pondered. “Remember that he is an Algolite, and has escaped from dangerous situations before. We will have to wait and see, and be ready if he returns!”

“I feel sorry for Stacy Wingus,” my companion then said. “I know she hated me and all that, but she couldn’t help being what she was. Just think of the abuse she had to endure from having a father like that! I really just wish there had been some way to help her, but now she is dead.”

“Millie, it never fails to amaze me,” said I, taking her hand, “what a wise and remarkably kind young lady you are.”

(I thought it best, at the moment, to refrain from reminding Millie that Anastasia Wingus had been “dead” before… )

“But what about Pederosis?” queried Millie Drake. “Where will he go now?”

“He will return to his ages-long slumber beneath the sea,” I replied, “until the world is threatened in a way for which he is once again needed!”

“Goodbye, Pederosis!” Millie shouted fondly, waving at the heroic giant lizard. “Thank you for helping us!”

Then, with a final roar of triumph and warning, the mighty Pederosis turned around and began his journey back to the sea.

***** DANIEL RUMANOS AND MILLIE DRAKE SHALL RETURN

THE PAEDOPHILE PROBLEM

“I love balconies at night,” cooed Anastasia Wingus as she took in the view from that luxury apartment building overlooking the Hudson River.

An insanely voluptuous brunette with luminous blue-green eyes and a mouth painted like an inviting scarlet gash, the girl was clad in only a bikini and spike-heel shoes that made her look several inches taller than she actually was.

With her was a man of about forty years of age wearing a purple dressing robe. He was tall and dark, with features bespeaking a mixed Mediterranean-Celtic descent. He looked at the girl closely. He had had many of them, he mused to himself, but there was something different about this one.

“Glad you like it, Anastasia,” he said. “This is just one of my apartments, and I also have a mansion upstate.”

Indeed, David Miron was quite wealthy, and he often utilised that wealth to meet young girls. This one he had found on the internet, first on a DikDok social media account entitled “@anaxstaxsiax”, to which he had rather mysteriously received an invitation. From this he had messaged her and was given her even more pornographic OnlyPervs account, on which she utilised the ridiculous screen name “Asia Milan”.

“So you own a lot of stuff?” asked Anastasia. “I heard about that thing you have that used to belong to that old writer.”

“You mean the raven sculpture that belonged to Poe?” returned Miron. “Yes, I keep that here in the safe. I inherited it from my old man, who was into old books and things and collected stuff like that. Not really my kind of thing though, and I really don’t like the looks of it, to be honest.”

“Oh, but can I see it?’ queried the girl.

“Maybe later,” smiled Miron. “First, I had something else in mind.”

With this, David Miron reached out lustfully to-wards Anastasia Wingus. She smiled seductively as if she welcomed this, but it was all a ruse. As soon as Miron touched her, the knife was in her hand. It was a switchblade she had hidden in her cleavage. In a split second, Stacy Wingus had buried the blade in David Miron’s stomach.

Miron lurched backwards in pain and shock. “What the hell?” he muttered. “Why… ?”

The man then stumbled and fell. He fell over the balcony and plummeted screaming to the river thirty-eight storeys below.

Anastasia Wingus then peered over the balcony to make certain Miron was gone. He had indeed plunged under the water and not returned.

“Oh, that was so hot,” said the girl to herself along with a mad giggle, “and Father will be so pleased. I will get that raven thing out of the safe for him and he can use it to take over the world. I love balconies at night!” …

My name is Doctor Daniel Rumanos. I carry within my blood the vastly superior genes of the legendary Watchers of Algol, the most intellectually advanced race in all of the known galaxies, whose technology is so sophisticated it appears to be miraculous to lesser beings.

Whilst most Algolites live in elitist seclusion from the rest of the Universe, I am an operative for an organisation known as the KOSMIKOS. Assisted by the beautiful Miss Millie Drake, I protect Earth from all manner of menace. I am -- The Daemon-Star!!! …

“It really belonged to Edgar Allan Poe?” enquired Millie Drake. “The raven sculpture that got stolen from that man’s apartment?”

“Indeed so,” I affirmed. “The art piece that was taken from the safe of the wealthy playboy Mr. David Miron by an unknown intruder; an intruder who apparently also murdered him, it seems at one time was indeed the property of the American writer and poet -- and unabashed paedophile, I might add -- Edgar Allan Poe. Apparently, Poe purchased it from an antique shop during his stay in this city between the years 1844 and 1849, shortly before his own death in the latter year, hmmm?”

We were seated in our secret downtown headquarters, located as it is an a skyscraper with a golden trapezoidal rooftop, the bottom floor of which if a take-away food establishment known as The Pizza Gate, named after the ornate gateway-styled entranceway of the building.

My companion, Millie Drake, is an exceedingly beautiful young lady; petite and perfect, with hair of a rich chestnut hue, enchanting violet eyes, and sun kissed skin. The royal blue dress she wore only served to highlight the wonderful shape of her slender adolescent figure.

I was clad in my usual finery, including a frilled poet shirt, velvet suit, and jungle boots. My panama hat and opera cape hung from a near by hallstand.

The chamber in which we were is filled with a mixture of computer banks, laboratory equipment, and numerous bizarre artefacts from my long and storied career; forsooth artefacts from this planet and others, artefacts from the past and from the future.

Also with us was Kit-10, our mobile personal computer that resembles nothing more or les that a small mechanical cat.

“So, Daniel,” said Millie, “who do you think might have killed Mr. Miron and stolen the raven sculpture, and why would they do such a thing?”

“There is no clue to the identity of the suspect,” I informed, “so that is a bit of a problem in itself. Strangely, the apartment building’s security cameras had stopped functioning for the evening. As for the stolen object, it has some value on the antique arts market, but I suspect a far darker reason for its theft; hence our interest in the case as the world’s foremost investigators of the occult and paranormal. You see, the sculpture was rumoured to have at one time been stolen from the ruins of an old Greek temple -- a temple of the goddess Minerva!”

“Minerva? Wasn’t she the ancient Greek and Roman goddess of wisdom in the arts of war?”

“Quite, my dear. In reality, of course, Minerva was one of the Olympianoids, that immensely powerful race of alien beings -- distantly related to our own Algolite species -- that came to Earth in ancient times and were worshipped as deities around the Mediterranean region.”

“So the raven sculpture has some residual kind of power from the Olympianoids?” asked Millie.

“So it appears,” I confirmed. “It has been said that it at times glows with a weirdly pulsating black and red radiance.”

“But who would think they were able to use such a power? Daniel, you don’t think it could be… ?”

“Let us not speculate before we have more facts, my dear Mills. If the person or persons who have purloined the raven sculpture are able to activate its powers, then…”

“Oh my gosh, Daniel!" suddenly cried Millie. "Look at that!"

I whirled around to see what the young lady had indicated and beheld an horror indeed. It was a large mass of pulsating black and red energy hovering several metres above the floor. Within a few seconds it had coalesced into the shape of a face; the visage as of that of a man of middle years, his features still showing a certain handsome distinction despite being marked with the signs of lifetimes of extreme unhallowed crime. His hair was long and dark, and his countenance decorated with a thin moustache and goatee. Most of all, his eyes shone with an intense hypnotic glare.

Of course, I recognised this face immediately. It was the face of my oldest and most dangerous enemy; the renegade Algolite who has become the most notorious villain in all of Space and Time.

Formed out of the bizarre energy was the very face of Don Wingus!!

“Kit-10!” I called.

The robotic feline then shot several beams of her nose-laser at the strange apparition, but it was to no avail. The horrid face, completely unharmed by the blasts of the robot’s energy ray, continued to float across the chamber to-wards us.

Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, the terrible black and red energy phantasm vanished.

“Daniel,” said Millie Drake, “wasn’t that… ?”

“Quite so,” I replied. “It was the face of Don Wingus manifesting by the force of the Olympianoid energy of Minerva.”

“So it was him that stole the sculpture!”

“So it seems. That apparition was just a side effect of his use of the energies. Nevertheless, it may be of some use to us, hmmm? Kit-10, can you analyse the energy readings and trace them to the source from whence they are emanating?”

“Accessing information, s--,” replied the mechanical cat in her simulated yet pleasantly-feminine voice. “Energy source verified as Olympianoid, and detected to have transmitted from an address at 11753 Bronx Road, which is found in city record business database to be an establishment known as the White Oak Tavern.”

(It should be noted here that Kit-10, in addition to her other feline characteristics, is completely unable to openly show respect to anyone. In truth, the closest she ever comes to it is by referring to me with a slight “s--” sound -- for “sir" -- and Millie Drake with “m--” -- for “ma’am”.)

‘By the Triple Star!” I swore. “That is indeed the area where Poe lived when he resided in this city, hmmm? Wingus has taken it there to amplify the powers further -- no doubt in his latest plan to establish himself as fascist dictator of the world!”

“We need to stop him!” cried Millie.

“Indeed we do, my dear,” I agreed, fetching my hat and cloak. “This will be dangerous mission indeed. The powers of Minerva are said to have been quite devastating. So come along, Millie and Kit-10. We have work to do!” …

At that same time, in a private room of the White Oak Tavern, the evil Don Wingus stood behind a table clad in a shiny black business suit with a blood-red necktie. Beside him was the insanely voluptuous form of his daughter Anastasia.

The peculiarly pulsating Olympianoid energy emanated from and object at the centre of the table before them. It began to swirl around Don Wingus, and continued to grow in its paranormal potency.

“The power is mine!” announced Wingus. “The power of Minerva and of the Olympianoids is now mine! It is mine and I shall use it to establish myself as ruler of Earth and other worlds! It is mine and no one shall stand before me! No one -- not even the meddling Kosmikos of Algol; not even Daniel Rumanos!”

With this, as the horrid extraterrestrial radiance continued to increase around him, the villainous Don Wingus let forth with a peal of utterly mad laughter. …

Night-time had fallen before Millie Drake, Kit-10, and I arrived at the White Oak Tavern. At first, the business seemed like a quite normal drinking establishment, with numerous patrons enjoying their night out, having beer or whiskey and watching sporting events on the bar’s two widescreen television sets.

“Kit-10,” I said, “do you still detect the presence of the Minerva powers here?”

“Of course, s--,” replied the robotic feline. “They are currently emanating from a backroom behind the door labelled ‘private patronage’.”

My companions and I then went to this door and opened it, carefully venturing inside. We soon enough beheld the horror were seeking; we saw it just as the door slammed shut behind us.

What we beheld was the notorious Magister Don Wingus and his daughter Anastasia standing behind a table on which was a small antique sculpture of a raven -- from which radiated the horrific black and red energies of the Olympianoid known as Minerva.

“Greetings, Rumanos,” sneered the evil Don Wingus. “We have been expecting you. You do doubt imagine that you can accomplish your objective of halting my plans, but you are incorrect. The power of Minerva is mine, and I shall use it to conquer all!”

“Wingus, I should have known it was you from the start,” I countered. “You escaped from the Axe of Romulus, and have now continued your bid to utilise Olympianoid powers by stealing the raven sculpture that once belonged to Poe -- and by murdering Mr. David Miron in the process!”

“Oh, my little Anastasia here took care of that aspect,” replied the villain. “She has become quiet adept at both assassination and safe-cracking.”

“It was fun,” giggled Stacy Wingus. “I made a date with him from my OnlyPervs account, ‘@theyluvmilanxx’.”

“Wingus,” I said, ignoring the insane girl, “you should know by now that you cannot control the powers of the Olympianoids. They have grown chaotic and unpredictable with age.”

“Oh, but you are wrong in that, Rumanos,” he returned. “You are so wrong. The power of Minerva is mine!”

With this, the black and red energies that had been swirling about suddenly increased in potency and began to lurch to-wards Millie Drake, Kit-10, and me.

“Daniel,” cried Millie, “the Olympianoid powers seem to be under his control! What can we do?!”

“You can do nothing, Miss Drake,” shouted Don Wingus. “You can do nothing, for I now command the powers to destroy you both -- along with that ridiculous mechanical pussy! Now, Daniel Rumanos, you old nuisance -- you will die!!”

Forsooth, it is at all possible, my dear friends and most loyal readers, that you can even commence to comprehend the sheer terror, in truth the absolute ungodly horror of the grotesque situation in which young Miss Drake and I then found ourselves? There we were in the private room of the White Oak Tavern, facing the evil Magister Don Wingus and his dangerously seductive daughter Anastasia. There we were, with the awesome force of the alien Olympianoid energy heading directly to-wards us -- the immensely powerful and potentially deadly eldritch energy that Wingus intended to utilise in his plot to subjugate the planet Earth!

“You will now die, Rumanos!” repeated the wicked Don Wingus amidst peals of his utterly insane laughter. “You will now die along with your wretched companions, and I -- Magister Don Wingus of Algol -- shall go on to use the powers of Minerva to establish myself in my rightful place as ruler of this world and others!”

Millie Drake clung to me in absolute horror at the grotesquely radiant alien energies bearing down upon us; energies that even then were beginning to cause us extreme and intense pain. Kit-10 nobly continued in her attempts to defend us with rays of her blaster, but it was of no use against the Olympianoid powers.

“Die, Daniel Rumanos, you accursed old meddler!” shouted Wingus. “Die! Die! Die!”

“Father, please don’t do this!” suddenly interrupted Stacy Wingus. “Please don’t kill Doctor Rumanos! I want him! I like him and want him to be mine! Please don’t kill him!”

“Anastasia, you cretinous courtesan!” rejoined Don Wingus, turning to slap his daughter hard across the face. “I am sick to death of your inappropriate obsession with that ridiculous poltroon Daniel Rumanos! He is nothing to us! He is only a glorified Space cop for the accursed Kosmikos! I am Don Wingus and I shall…”

The voice of Wingus then halted due to his noticing a strange occurrence in the room. Forsooth, the very energies of the Olympianoids had now ceased to threaten Millie Drake and me, and had in stead changed directions, now heading directly to-wards Wingus and his daughter!

“No!” bellowed Don Wingus in sudden realisation of what was happening. “No! You cannot do this to me! I am Don Wingus, the rightful ruler of worlds! No! No!! You cannot do this to me! You cannot… !!”

By now, the energy of Minerva had completely surround Wingus and his daughter. I heard Stacy scream in terror and her father bellow in outrage as it then imploded upon them. Within a mere moment, the energy had vanished, taking the villains with it. All was now quiet in that back room of the Tavern. Even the raven sculpture had crumbled away to only a tiny pile of dust.

“Are you all right, Millie?” I enquired concernedly.

“Yes, I’m okay,” she replied.

“What about you, Kit-10?”

“All systems undamaged and functionally within normal parameters, s--,” replied the robotic cat.

“That is excellent to hear.”

“But... what happened?” asked Millie Drake. “I know the powers turned against Don Wingus and Stacy when he got distracted, but where have they gone?”

“They have been taken out of this reality,” I explained. “They have gone to another dimensional plane; a sort of hell -- from which they may never return.”

“Well, I hope they don’t. But what about the raven sculpture?”

“It was hoary with age, and the re-energising of its powers was more than its structural integrity could bear. It is no more -- and the occult legacy of Edgar Allan Poe is at an end.”

With this, the lovely Miss Millie Drake, the robotic Kit-10, and I -- Doctor Daniel Rumanos -- left the White Oak Tavern to return to our downtown New York City headquarters -- until our next assignment!

***** DANIEL RUMANOS AND MILLIE DRAKE SHALL RETURN

ROMAN HOLIDAY

It was the holiday season, with the city decorated seemingly from top to bottom. There was a Christmas tree in the centre square that was several stories tall, covered with tinsel and glowing multicoloured lights, and similar lights blinked all over town. There were also numerous mechanical reindeer and snowmen, and individuals dressed as Santa Claus rang bells on street corners and outside of shops, many collecting money for charities in order to help needy children to get presents, and impoverished families to enjoy a good meal. Neither was the African-American holiday of Kwanzaa neglected, and if one were to look closely enough, one could even find the occasional Hanukkah menorah.

Nevertheless, there was at least one location in which the seasonal cheer had not at all penetrated, for on the particular evening in which our weird tale begins a rather strange event was transpiring in a certain secret site underneath the city. It was in a large sub-cellar painted completely black and lit only by a couple of dim lanterns. In the centre of this grotesque chamber was a table covered with a black silken cloth, on which was a bizarre object obviously quite hoary with age -- an object made of iron in the shape of a cruel battle-axe.

Behind this darksome table stood two individuals, one a man seemingly of middle years, his face still showing signs of handsome distinction despite being marked with the results of lifetimes of extreme unmitigated evil. His hair was long and dark, and his countenance decorated with a thin moustache and goatee. Most of all, his pale eyes shone with an absolute hypnotic glare. He was clad in an ebon business suit with a long red necktie.

The other was an insanely voluptuous adolescent girl with raven hair, pale skin, and luminous blue green eyes. Her mouth was painted like an inviting scarlet gash, and she wore only a bikini top, a leathern miniskirt, and spike heels that made her appear much taller than her actual height.

Peering intently at the object on the table, the man spoke, “It is mine. At long last, it is mine. It is mine, and I shall use its power to rule this world.”

“What did you say it was, Father?” enquired the girl, absently curling her hair with her fingers.

“I have already told you what it is, Anastasia. It is none other than the Axe of Romulus, the first King of Rome.”

“Rome? Isn’t that near Milan? I love Milan!”

“This has nothing to do with modern Italian cities,” replied the man with a note of annoyance. “The ancient Roman power is entirely its own, Romulus himself having been a scion of the Olympianoids, and the Axe being that which he used to conquer -- and which became infused with his own alien essence. It is this essence that I, Magister Don Wingus of Algol, shall now reenergise and utilise to take my rightful place as supreme dictator of all!”

With this pronouncement, a strange blood-red glow began to emanate from the ancient battle-axe, a glow that pulsated and grew steadily in power.

“It’s working!” cheered Anastasia Wingus. “Father, it’s working!”

“Yes, it is,” exulted the evil Don Wingus, with the tone of utter madness deepening in his voice. “The powers of the very Axe of Romulus are mine, and I shall soon become ruler of all creation. I shall finally take the power that justly belongs to me, and I shall take my due position as the supreme ruler of all -- and no one shall stand before me! No one!” …

My name is Doctor Daniel Rumanos. I carry within my blood the vastly superior genes of the legendary Watchers of Algol, the most intellectually advanced race in all of the known galaxies, whose technology is so sophisticated it appears to be miraculous to lesser beings.

Whilst most Algolites live in elitist seclusion from the rest of the Universe, I am an operative for an organisation known as the KOSMIKOS. Assisted by the beautiful Miss Millie Drake, I protect Earth from all manner of menace. I am -- The Daemon-Star!!! …

“By the Spires of Daemonia!” I swore. “It was indeed the Axe of Romulus that was stolen from the Oddities Museum!”

“Romulus?” queried Millie Drake. “You mean the legendary founder of Rome, like in the mythological story of Romulus and Remus??”

We were in our downtown headquarters, located as it is inside the golden trapezoidal roof of a certain skyscraper, filled with scientific equipment and with artefacts gleaned from our adventures across Time and Space. I was clad in my usual finery, including a frilled poet shirt, purple velvet suit, and jungle boots. My panama hat and opera cape hung from a near by hallstand, and a brightly lit eight-branched menorah shone close by.

Millie Drake is an exceedingly beautiful young lady; petite and perfect with luxurious chestnut hair, sun-kissed skin, and lovely violet eyes. The flowered dress she wore only served to highlight the soft shape of her slender teenage figure.

Also near by was Kit-10, our mobile personal computer that resembles nothing more or less than a small mechanical cat. She was quite busy at the moment, with a sound like unto a contented purring issuing forth from her as she sat connected; recharging and updating her systems from the main computer hard-drives.

“The very same,” I said in answer to Millie’s query. “Romulus, who conquered the Italian peninsula in the eighth century before the Common Era. He was said to be the son of one of the alien visitors from the planet Olympiana, that immensely powerful race -- distantly related to own Algolitish ancestors -- who became the ‘gods’ of the ancient Greeks and Romans.”

“So the weapon that he used would have some sort of powers,” said Millie.

“Indeed so. The Axe of Romulus was aid to have glowed blood red when he used it in battle -- this leading to the belief that his extraterrestrial father was actually the god of war himself.”

“But these powers must have vanished long ago, right? I mean, they weren’t ever seen when it was on display at the museum.”

“They were not, and neither was there any note of them by the private collector of Italian antiquities who left it to the museum in his estate will,” said I, absently touching the Star of David necklace I wore, “but that does not mean that the powers are no more. Someone with certain mentalist abilities could reactivate them. You see, when the relic was on display at the Oddities Museum, there was no way of knowing if it was truly the Axe of Romulus. But now that it has been stolen -- and by a burglar or burglars with the ability of disabling the security cameras and to brutality to stab the night-time guard to death -- it has become obvious that there is some reality to the legends concerning the object after all.”

“At least the burglars believed there to be,” added Millie. “But who could think themselves to have the abilities needed to reactivate and use the powers of the Axe of Romulus? Oh my gosh! Do you think it could be… ?”

“Now now, Mills,” I admonished. “Let us be careful that we do not speculate too much until we have more facts concerning the case, hmmm? What we need to do is to locate where the Axe has been taken, and then we can…”

“Oh my goodness, Daniel!” suddenly interrupted Millie Drake in horror. “Look! Look at that!!”

I turned to see what my friend was indicating, and beheld an eldritch horror indeed, forsooth a thing of unmentionable terror and nightmarish fear beyond any sane imagining. It was an huge mass of pulsating blood-red energy that had appeared hovering in the centre of our chamber, accompanied with a sensation of utter dread, and it was even now rushing straight to-wards us!

I quickly moved to shield Millie from the onrushing horror. Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, the strange mass of energy then vanished, taking with it the feeling of impending doom that its very presence had brought with it.

“What was that thing, Daniel?” asked Millie Drake, recovering from her fear.

“It was a type of Olympianoid energy,” I explained. “The very type that would be generated from the Axe of Romulus. The person or persons who have stolen it have indeed managed to activate its powers.”

“Daniel, look at Kit-10!” Millie then cried.

I went over to inspect our robotic cat friend. Her head was drooping, and there was no longer any sign of her systems running.

“By the Triple Star!” I swore. “Kit-10 has been drained of her energy by the very presence of the Romulus powers. It is a residual affect of the same feeling of dread that we experienced. The Axe must be powerful indeed to have done this even when she was attached to the computer banks.”

“Poor Kit-10,” lamented Millie. “Will she be okay?”

“There does not appear to be any permanent damage. She should become functional again in time. In any event, we have to find the location of the Axe of Romulus. The next use of it will likely be far more devastating than this mere show of bravado.”

“Is there a way to locate it?”

“The main computer should be able to trace from whence the energy was emanating,” I replied, looking at the central console view-screen. “Ah, there it is. According to this, the energy was sent from a location on Sergeant Street, several blocks west of here. That will be where we shall find the Axe of Romulus, along with the criminals who have it in their possession. It is at a place called Asia Milan.”

“Asia Milan?”” repeated Millie Drake. “What is that?”

“It is -- or rather, was -- one of those ‘fusion’ restaurants, in this case combining Chinese and northern Italian cuisine. It did not last long before filing bankruptcy and going out of business, and has now been shuttered for some time.”

“We need to get over there right away!” added Millie.

“Quite so,” I agreed, fetching my hat and coat whilst Millie donned a smart holiday-coloured sweater. “The Sun is setting, and the powers of darkness will be all too strong. Since the dreadful energies of the Axe of Romulus have already been activated, there is no time to lose!” …

A short time later, Millie Drake and I arrived at the location on Sergeant Street. We could tell even from outside that the restaurant was completely abandoned and in great disrepair. We realised that the old dining and kitchen areas were much too exposed to be utilised as a criminal hideout.

“They must have taken the Axe to some basement area, hmmm?” I pondered as we investigated the exterior of the abandoned Asia Milan eatery. “We shall have to ascertain as to where…”

It was then that I noticed something; something terrible indeed. It was a large knife that had been thrown in our direction, and it was flying directly to-wards Millie Drake’s heart!

It was only due to my superior Algolitish reflexes that Millie was saved from the knife. I moved her out of the way just in time for it to fly past her and then to clatter onto the concrete several metres distant.

It was then that we beheld a female figure clad in a bikini top and miniskirt quickly retreating into the Asia Milan restaurant building.

“Daniel!” said Millie. “Isn’t that… ?”

“Anastasia ‘Stacy’ Wingus,” I completed. “We need to get after her!”

Millie Drake and I accordingly followed the evil girl as she attempted to vanish down a staircase leading far underground, into a sub-cellar of the restaurant building. We soon found ourselves in a chamber lit only by two dim lanterns. At its centre was a table covered with a black silk cloth -- and on the table was the Axe of Romulus itself, which was already pulsating with the dreadful blood-red Olympianoid energy!

Stacy Wingus had by now joined another figure behind the table. It was a man clad in a black business suit and with a look of absolute sardonic evil on his face. It was a visage I knew all too well, for it was the face of my oldest and most dangerous enemy, the renegade Algolite who has become the most wanted criminal in all of Time and Space.

“Don Wingus!” I said his name. “I should have known it was you from the start. So you did escape from the Szepasszony, and have reunited with you daughter Anastasia in order to steal the Axe of Romulus.”

“Quite so, Rumanos,” admitted Wingus. “Quite so. My little cutie here did away with the guard at that museum. She has indeed become quite adept with the knife.”

“I noticed,” said Millie Drake.

“Wingus, you old fiend,” I charged. “You cannot utilise the powers of the Axe of Romulus. They are ancient and chaotic. They are the very essence of war, and can easily destroy any unworthy to wield them.”

“You shall find that I have already proven my worthiness to wield the Olympianoid war powers,” returned Don Wingus. “The powers are mine, and I shall use them to become master of all!”

With this, the blood-red energies began to increase, rising up into the air in the centre of that darksome subterranean chamber. With them was a feeling of utter dreadful horror. Then, as they reached a sudden crescendo, the energies suddenly shot directly to-wards Millie and me!

“This is your ending, Rumanos!” exulted Don Wingus, his voice like unto a symphony of utter madness. “Now you will die!!”

Is it possible, my dear friends and most appreciated readers, that you can even commence to understand the extreme unmitigated horror, forsooth the complete and total unnameable terror of this grotesque situation? There we were, the lovely Miss Millie Drake and me -- Doctor Daniel Rumanos. There we were, facing the evil intergalactic villain known to eternal damnation as Magister Don Wingus, along with his dangerously-seductive and murderous young daughter, Anastasia. There we were, as the aforesaid master criminal wielded the arcane powers of the ancient and storied Axe of Romulus against us -- powers that manifest themselves as a pulsating blood-red energy like unto an animated crimson stain; in truth a deadly force that even now was rushing directly in our direction!

“You will die now, Rumanos!” repeated the wicked Don Wingus. “You will die by the powers of the Axe of Romulus -- powers that I shall then go one to use in my conquest of planet Earth!”

The blood-red energies emanating from the ancient Axe of Romulus had by now begun to swirl around Millie Drake and me, approaching us closer and closer with their potentially lethal powers. We already felt the affects of their close proximity to us, with a certain sensation of pain and anguish as of one conquered in war. With this, we felt ourselves beginning to sink into unconsciousness -- in sooth a faint from which I knew we might never recover.

“And now, Rumanos,” said Don Wingus amidst peals of his sick insane laughter, “You and your assistant shall die!!”

“Father, please don’t do this,” suddenly interrupted Anastasia Wingus. “Please don’t hurt Doctor Rumanos anymore. I want him. In fact, I’m a big fan of his! Please don’t kill him. Just let me have him when you come into your new kingdom, okay?”

“Stacy, you clueless concubine!” shouted Don Wingus in anger whilst slapping his daughter hard across the face. “I have told you so many times how utterly sick and tired I am of your sexual obsession with that ridiculous Daniel Rumanos!”

I then noticed that the Olympianoid energies whirling around Millie and me now seemed unfocused. I quickly touched the Magen David necklace I wore and raised my voice in a certain ancient incantation.

“Nes Gadol Haya Sham!!” I prayed. “Nes Gadol Haya Sham! Nes Gadol Haya Sham!”

The holy prayer had an immediate affect, causing the Olympianoid energies to reverse course and, in stead of pummelling Miss Millie Drake and me, to head directly to-wards the evil Don Wingus and his daughter!

The energies quickly then surrounded them. I heard Anastasia scream in terror and Don Wingus bellow in outrage.

“No! You cannot do this to me!” he shouted with a tone of indignation. “I am Magister Don Wingus, the rightful ruler of all! The powers of the Axe of Romulus should be mine to command! No! No! You cannot do this! I… I… !”

Moreover with this, the power completely surrounded and engulfed Don Wingus and Stacy, a few moments later simply blinking out of existence, taking the two criminals with it. I looked upon the table and saw that the Axe of Romulus itself was also no more, with only a slight pile of rubble denoting that it had ever even been there.

“Are you all right, Millie?” I queried concernedly.

“I’m fine now,” she replied. “But… what happened?”

“Wingus being distracted weakened the focus of the energies enough that I was able to recover from their effects and then to utilise the ancient Hebrew invocation to command their reversal -- therefore turning the powers of the Axe of Romulus against Don Wingus himself! The necessary show of power also caused the remains of the ancient Axe to disintegrate.”

“So the evil is gone now.”

“Happy Holidays, my dear Millie,” I smiled.

“Happy Holidays, Daniel,” returned the young lady. “So, do you think Don Wingus was destroyed, or will we have to deal with him again?”

“It is likely that the power of the Axe of Romulus took him and his daughter out of existence,” I pondered, “but he has indeed escaped before from similar things. We shall see, hmmm? We shall see. As for now, I know of a local kosher restaurant that is offering a nice late Hanukkah dinner, including brisket and potato latkes, and those excellent jelly donuts for dessert. We can join them in the festivities.”

“That sounds wonderful, Daniel!” cheered Millie with a lovely smile, and indeed it was.

***** DANIEL RUMANOS AND MILLIE DRAKE SHALL RETURN

SCREAM OF THE SZEPASSZONY

The sounds that filled the chamber were like unto the moans of sexual ecstasy. They echoed about in the darkness, their source as yet unseen.

“I do stir you up and summon you,” stated the man who stood behind the desecrated altar, his voice tinged with madness and unnameable evil. “I do call you forth from the most ancient times of the Empire of the Ringed Planet. I do call you forth that you may resume your domination and may establish your dominion here upon this world known as Earth.”

The man, clad as he was in a shiny black vestment robe, was seemingly of middle years. His face still showed signs of handsome distinction despite having upon it the marks of lifetimes of unspeakable wickedness. His hair was long and dark, and his visage decorated with a thin moustache and goatee. Most of all, his pale eyes shone with an absolute and hypnotic glare.

“I do call you forth,” he continued, his voice rising in volume and intensity. “I do call you forth, Empress of Saturn! I do call you forth -- Szepasszony!”

With this, the strange carnal sounds increased in the chamber, now joined with a weird blue-green effulgence that began to permeate the very air.

“Come forth now, Empress Szepasszony, ancient ruler of Saturn and now soon to be of Earth!” shouted the villain. “Come forth, that I -- Magister Don Wingus -- may share your supreme power as ruler of this world!!”

Then, as the alien energies filled the chamber, the evil Don Wingus laughed a laugh of absolute insane triumph. …

My name is Doctor Daniel Rumanos. I carry within my blood the vastly superior genes of the legendary Watchers of Algol, the most intellectually advanced race in all of the known galaxies, whose technology is so sophisticated it appears to be miraculous to lesser beings.

Whilst most Algolites live in elitist seclusion from the rest of the Universe, I am an operative for an organisation known as the KOSMIKOS. Assisted by the beautiful Miss Millie Drake, I protect Earth from all manner of menace. I am -- The Daemon-Star!!! …

“The Szepasszony?” enquired Millie Drake. “Isn’t that a sort of succubus from Hungarian legend?”

“Quite right, Mills,” I affirmed, “and I see your studies in comparative mythology have been of great use, hmmm? Forsooth, the Szepasszony is indeed remembered in the folklore of the Hungarian people as a sort of succubus or sexual vampire that drains the very souls of her victims -- but her true origins are actually much stranger than even that!”

We were seated in the library room of our headquarters, located as it is in the golden trapezoidal roof of a certain downtown skyscraper. I was clad in my usual finery, including a frilled poet shirt, purple velvet suit, and jungle boots. My panama hat and opera cape hung from a near by hallstand.

Millie Drake -- an exquisitely beautiful young lady with hair of a rich chestnut hue, a sun-kissed complexion, and eyes an enchanting blue-violet -- was wearing a flowered dress that only served to highlight the soft lines of her slender teenage figure.

“So you say she was actually from the planet Saturn?” asked my companion.

“Quite so,” I again confirmed. “The Szepasszony was in truth a ruler of that ringed planet in ancient times, during the era of the prehistoric Saturnian Empire. It was a time when the people of that world were naturally gifted with quite potent psychic powers, particularly amongst the ruling class.”

“So, what happened? I mean, how did the Szepasszony come to Earth and become a monster from Hungarian folktales?”

“The Empress Szepasszony was known as an unspeakably cruel ruler of her world, even by the standards of that barbaric time. The Saturnians, who had already developed a rudimentary form of Space travel, eventually rose up against her, removing her from the throne of their planet and banishing her to an exile upon Earth, in a time when this planet was still in the earliest days of human civilisation. She lived for some time in what is now Eastern Europe.”

“But how has she survived until now?” wondered Millie. “Surely Saturnians don’t live that long.”

“She died eventually,” I returned, “having finished out her normal lifespan. None the less, it was soon found that she had somehow survived the death of her physical body, or at least a certain distorted essence of her being had done so. It is this that lived on and became the creature of legend, draining life energies from human beings, particularly energies of a sexual nature.”

“And now she has returned?”

“Apparently so. Our computer systems have detected energies of the type associated with the Szepasszony coming from, of all places, a near by cemetery.”

I then turned to our mobile personal computer that resembles nothing more or less than a small mechanical cat.

“Kit-10,” I said, “have you downloaded all information from the main database concerning the Szepasszony?”

“Of course, s--,” rejoined the little robot in her simulated yet pleasantly feminine voice. “I am now fully conversant in all available data and speculative theory concerning the creature known as Szepasszony, and will be able to detect the presence of the energy forces associated with the same”

(It should be noted here that Kit-10, in addition to her other catlike characteristics, is completely unable to openly show respect to anyone. In point of fact, the closest she is ever able to come to it is by addressing me by a slight “s--” sound -- for “sir” -- and Millie Drake by “m--” -- for “ma’am”.)

“Traces of the Szepasszony have appeared before in recent times, but have then been banished,” I continued, automatically touching the protective Magen David pendant that hung about my neck. “Nevertheless, the level of energy detected this time is much more severe. It is likely that someone has intentionally summoned her -- someone with knowledge and experience in psyche-sexual incantations.”

“Oh my gosh!” exclaimed Millie. “Do you think it could be… ?”

“Now, my dear,” I admonished whilst fetching my hat and cloak. “Let us not speculate until we have more facts, hmmm? Mills, Kit-10, let us go on location!” …

A short time later we arrived at Pine Grove Cemetery, located as it is on the very outskirts of the Metropolitan area. I parked our specially-modified canary-yellow Edwardian roadster (affectionately known as “Lizzie”) just outside the grounds, and my companions and I approached the graveyard just as dusk had settled over the area. The sky was heavily overcast, and the oppressive humidity was perhaps one source of the strange feeling of unhallowed dread that seemed to have settled like a grotesque presence over the entire region.

“Daniel,” whispered Millie Drake, “aren’t there some old stories about this place? I seem to remember hearing of it somewhere.”

“Indeed so,” I affirmed. “You likely read of it in your studies concerning the history of occult crime. Pine Grove Cemetery was in the news several decades ago after having been hideously vandalised by a local ‘satanic cult’. This was in actuality only a small group of local youngsters with a fetish for heavy metal music. Only one of them was even old enough to serve prison time for the offence.”

“But even if they weren’t experienced devil worshippers,” added Millie as we entered the grounds, “such things can have a lasting negative effect, right?”

“Quite so,” I agreed. “Quite so. It is likely the residual effects of that outrage that have led to the cemetery being a place where a more advanced practitioner of the dark arts, all these years later, would choose to conjure the dread horror of the Szepasszony.”

“S--,” suddenly interrupted Kit-10. “Systems are detecting archaic Saturnian energy forces quickly approaching our location.”

“Oh my goodness!” Millie cried. “Look!”

It was then that I turned and beheld an horror indeed. For, at that very moment something was indeed approaching us across the grounds of Pine Grove Cemetery. It was floating above the tombstones and surrounded by a sickly glow of blue-green effulgence. It appeared as an huge face, in truth the face of a man of distinguished diabolism. Of course, I recognised this countenance immediately. I recognised it as the visage of my oldest and most deadly enemy, the renegade Algolite who had become the most wicked villain and heinous criminal mastermind in all of Time and Space.

It was the face of Magister Don Wingus!

I heard Millie Drake scream as the grotesque disembodied face approached ever nearer to us, and I stepped in front of her in order to protect her as much as possible. 

“Kit-10!” I called.

The little robot fired several shots of her nose laser at the apparition, but to no avail. The eldritch thing continued in its lurch to-wards us.

Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, the face and its surrounding glow vanished.

“Are you all right, Millie?” I enquired concernedly.

“I’m okay, Daniel,” she replied, “but that face! Wasn’t it… ?”

“Don Wingus!” I confirmed. “I should have known. So he did escape from the Golden Fleece, and has called forth the powers of the Szepasszony. That was just a show of bravado; an attempt to frighten us. The forces he has conjured will be far more powerful than that.”

“So where exactly is he?” asked Millie Drake.

“Kit-10,” I said, “can you do a location trace on the Saturnian energies?”

“Of course, s--,” replied the mechanical feline. “Systems detect the energy radiating from the interior of the cemetery chapel.”

Millie, Kit-10, and I then cautiously approached the building of the small church at the centre of the graveyard. Its décor was non-denominational, but we noticed immediately that it had all been horribly vandalised as an attempt at unholy desecration.

We then perceived a voice addressing us from the far end of the sanctuary.

“Greetings, Rumanos and comrades,” said its mocking and all-to familiar tones. “We have been expecting you.”

We then beheld the form of the criminal Don Wingus himself, clad in his ebon vestment and surrounded by the sickly blue-green glow of the Szepasszony energy. With this was heard a spectral sound as of moans of fornication.

“Wingus, you infernal fiend!” I charged. “You cannot control the powers of the Szepasszony! She is a force of chaos and unfettered lust averse to all reason and wisdom.”

“Oh, but you are wrong, Rumanos,” rejoined the madman. “You are wrong, for I have conjured forth the very Empress Szepasszony herself, and have joined her essence to mine. Joined together, we will become supreme rulers of this world!”

At this, a further horror appeared there in that ruined chapel. It was the floating form like unto the phantasmal shape of a woman with blue skin, shaggy orange hair, and eyes glowing yellow. The sound of carnal moaning intensified as she began to float to-wards us.

“Behold the Szepasszony herself!” exulted Don Wingus amidst peals of his own insane laughter. “Behold your doom!”

Kit-10 fired her laser at the form of the Saturnian horror, but it had no effect. The blue-green alien energy protected it and Don Wingus from any harm.

“There is no escape, Rumanos,” bellowed the evil Magister Don Wingus. “You will now die. With the power of the Szepasszony, I shall soon rule this planet -- and you and your friends shall now be destroyed!!”

Is it at all possible, my dear friends and most loyal readers, that you can even commence to comprehend the absolute unholy terror, forsooth the complete ungodly horror of this situation? There we were -- the beautiful Miss Millie Drake, the robotic Kit-10, and me, Doctor Daniel Rumanos. There we were, in that desecrated chapel of Pine Grove Cemetery. There we were, as the renegade Algolite and intergalactic villain known to eternal infamy as Magister Don Wingus exulted in his success in calling forth the very powers of the ancient horror known as the Szepasszony; powers that he intended to utilise in his plans to conquer the planet Earth -- and indeed powers that even now -- with the phantasmagorical shape of the Saturnian hag herself -- were hurtling with deadly force directly to-wards us!!

“You will now die, Rumanos!” repeated the villainous Don Wingus. “You will now die, and I shall go on to become supreme ruler of this world!!”

The extraterrestrial energies, accompanied as they were with the hideous form the Szepasszony and the sickening noises of unholy fornication, were by now almost upon Millie Drake, Kit-10, and me.

“Of course!” I exclaimed in sudden realisation. “There is a way! There is one chance!”

“What is it, Daniel?” queried Millie. “What can we do?”

“Millie,” I said, taking her hand in mine. “My dearest Millie, will you tell me something?”

“Of course, Daniel,” she replied. “What is it?”

“Millie, do you love me?”

“Of course I do, Daniel. I love you so much. I love you more than life itself!”

“I love you too, my dear little Mills.”

“Daniel!” she said, her eyes suddenly wide with wonder. “Look! Look what is happening!”

The energy and form of the ancient Saturnian horror had now reversed their course and, in stead of hurtling to-wards my companions and me, now turned against the evil Don Wingus!

“No!” shouted the villain in sudden fear of his situation. “No! You cannot do this to me, Szepasszony! I have called you forth! I am Don Wingus of Algol! I am your master! You cannot do this to me! I… ! No! No!! NO!!!”

With this, the Szepasszony had now reached Don Wingus and completely surrounded him with her energies, the sickening sexual sounds now having heightened in intensity to the noise of a scream. Within moments, the alien energy seemed to implode upon the villain and then to simply vanish into nothingness.

I looked around the area carefully. The Szepasszony and her energy, along with the iniquities Don Wingus, had vanished from sight and all was now quiet in Pine Grove Cemetery. It was now as if the evil had never been.

“What… what happened?” stammered Millie Drake, recovering from her fright.

“I remembered something about the Szepasszony,” I explained. “You see, her powers were completely of a crassly sexual nature, without any of the refinement of love or romance. It was our own summoning of the powers of true love that banished her from this world -- and took Don Wingus with her!”

“But… where will they go?”

“Into a sort of hell; a place where those who know not the joys of love will suffer in darkness forever. In fact, it is said that the worst of them are imprisoned there sunk up to their necks in boiling excrement and semen for all eternity, hmmm?””

“Are you okay, Kit-10?” asked Millie.

“All systems functioning normally, m---,” affirmed the mechanical cat.

“Then all is truly well again, my friends,” I announced. “I shall say some words of Hebrew exorcism to ensure that all residual evil is gone from this place, and then we can be on our way.”

***** DANIEL RUMANOS AND MILLIE DRAKE SHALL RETURN