I took the transonic mezuzah from the pocket of my jacket and used it to scan the area.
“By the Triple Star!” I swore upon reading the results before returning the device to my pocket. “It does indeed appear that there is evidence of the presence of Liddelium, that rare element which is found only on certain asteroids and which is known to facilitate Time-travel!”
“But who could be using Lidellium here at an ‘after hours’ bar in New York City?” wondered Millie Drake.
“That is what we must find out, my dear,” I pondered. “That is what we must find out.”
I was clad in my usual finery; including a frilled poet shirt, purple velvet suit, jungle boots, panama hat, Star of David necklace, and one of my favourite opera capes as we walked the pavement of that city street to-wards the “LateNight NYC Club”.
My companion, known as Miss Millie Drake, is an exceedingly beautiful young lady; petite and perfect with luxurious chestnut hair, enchanting blue-violet eyes, and a sun-kissed complexion. The pink minidress she wore only served to highlight her slender figure.
Also with us was Kit-10, our mobile personal computer that resembles a mechanical housecat.
We entered the nightclub and approached the bar. I ordered a vanilla cola for myself and a lemonade for Millie.
“Welcome to LateNight,” lisped the obviously homosexual bartender as he eyed my outfit. “Are you a magician at one of the theatres or something?”
“Whilst I have been known to practice my share of prestidigitation and legerdemain” I replied, “that is not what brings me here this evening. My companions and I are investigating what may be evidence of extraterrestrial technology being utilised at this establishment.”
“Surely, you can’t be serious!” rejoined the bartender.
“I am indeed quite serious,” I told him, “and do kindly refrain from addressing me as “Shirley’!” …
My name is Doctor Daniel Rumanos, and with the magical technology of the legendary Watchers of Algol, I protect Earth from all manner of menace. I am -- The Daemon-Star! …
“These ‘after-hours’ places are becoming popular again,” said I whilst we sat at a table enjoying our drinks. “They are frequented by local entertainers and others in need of refreshment after the usual taverns close at two AM.”
“It’s not a bad place,“ replied Millie Drake. “Would you like a sip of my lemonade, Kit-10?’
“This unit does not consume beverages, m--,” replied the computerised kitty-cat in her simulated yet pleasantly-feminine voice.
(It should be noted here that Kit-10, in addition to her other seemingly catlike characteristics, is completely unable to openly show respect to anyone. In truth, the closest she ever comes to it is by addressing me by a slight “s--” sound -- for “sir” -- and Millie by “m--” -- for “ma’am”.)
I looked around the club. It had about a dozen or so patrons, drinking and socialising and listening to the 1970s disco music playing over the speakers. All appeared normal for this type of establishment.
“So Daniel,” said Millie, “Who do you think could be using the Liddelium here?”
“Perhaps no one currently,” I pondered, twiddling my frills. “It appears to be buried deep beneath the city. It could be the remains of a spaceship that crashed here centuries ago, hmmm?”
“But why haven’t our systems at headquarters detected it before?”
“Liddelium is a psyche-sensitive substance. It is probable that the founding of this after hours club here reactivated it, due to the effect of the emotions raised by human drunkenness and so forth. It would cause the…”
“Oh my goodness!” Millie cried. “Look!”
“Danger, s--,” added Kit-10. “Danger detected.”
I turned to see what had so alarmed my friends and beheld a terror indeed, for at the centre of the club I saw a shimmering light beginning to coalesce into a form that soon became fully visible. It was a form like unto a tall silver man.
“Daniel, isn’t that a… ?” Millie wondered.
“Indeed it is,” I confirmed. “A Leknii Replicant!”
As we stood up to face the thing, it spoke, its voice an emotionless electronic whirr.
“We are the Leknii. It is useless to resist us. All humans will be converted. You will be as we are.”
The club patrons had immediately fled the place in inebriated fear as soon as the cyborg horror had appeared. So had the bartender, who particularly ran screaming. Millie, Kit-10 and I were left alone with the cybernetic monstrosity. It was soon joined by five others of its kind, appearing as it had by matter transmission beams.
Kit-10 had attempted several shots of her nose-laser at the Replicants, but it had no effect on the cyborg monsters.
“We have waited long for reactivation,” said the first Replicant, whose bronze-hued head signified its rank as Controller. “We will immediately go forth to begin the conversion of all humans on this planet.”
“You shall do nothing of the sort!” I countered. “As protector of Earth, I cannot allow its people to be assimilated into your sickening cybernetic race.”
“You are familiar with our kind?” asked the Controller.
“All too familiar! You are Replicants originating on the planet Lekni. Long ago, when all life on your world was threatened with extinction due to industrial pollution, you began replacing your biological components with cybernetic ones, this soon causing your race to lose all emotion, including love and all that goes with it. You realised that the only way you could reproduce your kind is by going forth into Space and finding others that you could convert. This went on until a multitude of planets across the galaxies allied themselves against you; hence the Replicant Wars. You eventually found yourselves being defeated and, in order to circumvent this, attempted to harness the power of Time-travel by adding Liddelium to some of your spaceships. Your inability to properly control the element, largely due to your absence of emotion, caused your ships to malfunction. That is what happened here, hmmm? You crashed to Earth, getting buried miles below the ground centuries ago -- dead and forgotten until the establishment of this club accidentally revived you!”
“Your knowledge is beyond that of the native species of this world,” said the Replicant Controller, touching a few buttons of the control panel on its chest. “Scan shows that you are of Algolite origin. Your species is unsuitable for conversion and therefore must be eradicated.”
With this pronouncement, the Leknii Replicant suddenly raised its arm and shot a bolt of potentially deadly energy directly at Millie Drake and me!!
Is it possible for you to even commence to understand the sheer utter horror, forsooth the extreme ungodly terror of what my companions and I were experiencing? There we were, the lovely Millie Drake, the robotic Kit-10, and me -- Doctor Daniel Rumanos -- at the ‘after hours’ establishment known as LateNight NYC. There we were, facing the dreaded cyborg horror of the Replicants of Lekni, those terrifying cybernetic creatures that only exist to convert humanoids into their own emotionless and unfeeling kind.
It was only our superior Algolite reflexes that enabled Millie and me to avoid the Leknii energy bolt, that in stead blasted a large hole in the wall behind where we had been standing. We shielded ourselves behind the bar, Kit-10 quickly joining us.
“Daniel, what can we do?” said Millie. “We can’t go on avoiding their energy weapons forever!”
I glanced round at the six Replicants surrounding us and suddenly remembered something.
“Of course!” I said in sudden realisation. “Vlooj!”
I quickly took out the transonic and spun around in a circle, aiming my device at the Replicants after activating a certain setting. Within moments, the six Leknii began to shiver and shake, along with a sound like a sick coughing.
“Kit-10!” I called. “Now!”
The robot shot off another blast of her laser at the Leknii Controller. A few moments after it hit, the Controller shattered into countless microscopic shards, as did the other five Replicants.
There was then a sound like an huge cave-in, far underground. The building shook briefly before once again all was still.
“Well, that takes care of that, hmmm?” said I. “Are you all right, Mills? Kit-10?”
“Yes, I’m okay,” Millie replied.
“My systems are undamaged and functioning normally, s--,” added the robotic cat.
“So what happened, Daniel?” questioned Millie Drake. “How did you destroy the Replicants?”
“I realised that,” I explained, “being Leknii from the era of the Replicant Wars, these were still susceptible to an allergic reaction to the alien spice known as vlooj. I then activated the synthetic vlooj setting on my transonic, causing this reaction on their systems. This weakened them enough to allow Kit-10’s nose-laser to have an effect. The six Replicants then self-destructed, along with their ship, due to a safety protocol of theirs that is activated to prevent others from cannibalising their technology. The sound we heard was actually the ground far below settling in where the vessel had previously been. Good shooting, by the way, Kit-10!”
“Of course, s--,” replied the electronic feline.
“So was the Liddelium destroyed as well?’ asked Millie.
I scanned the area with the transonic before returning the device to my jacket pocket.
“So it appears,” I said. “A tricky element, Liddelium, but it must have dispersed with the destruction of the Leknii rocket-ship. There is no evidence of it remaining.”
Millie Drake, Kit-10, and I had by now exited the establishment known as the LateNight NYC Club and continued down the city sidewalk.
“I am certain the club’s patrons will attribute what they saw to intoxication and soon enough forget about it,” I said. “The sun is rising. Eli’s Bagel Shop will be open soon and we can stop by for breakfast. I could use a garlic bagel with cream cheese, hmmm?”
“That sounds delicious!” cheered Millie as the new day dawned. “Except make mine blueberry! What kind of bagel would you like, Kit-10?”
“This unit does not consume edibles, m--,” complained the catlike robot.
***** DANIEL RUMANOS AND MILLIE DRAKE SHALL RETURN
